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Avoiding the feeling of failure

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Our problem is that we can talk about motivation, switching mindsets and thinking we've turned over a new leaf by being positive then we meet a challenge head on only to fall in a heap the following day. Seems we just dont have the endurance to commit consistently to motivation.

This "fake" motivation is something I experienced as an insurance salesman. "Yes we can sell a policy today, yes get on the phone, yes, yes, yes..." 30 phone calls later I go home deflated without a sale. For we are not made of the ability to remain pumped up. Its not in our mental genes.

After years of studying my own mental strengths and limitations I've come to the conclusion its better not to go down the road of fake motivation. Motivation is far more effective when all the ingredients needed for motivation are present. What are these elements?

Absence of worry- worry is overpowering. It consumes you. It will cause you to return home from a walk very quickly.

Google Topic: worry worry worry- beyondblue

Physical health- some of us battle with physical limitations and injury. If your leg is damaged remember, you have arms and cardio that can be exercised.

Finances- all must be in order. I became motivated after my wife made a budget and sorted our bills by direct debit eliminating my poor memory from storing those bill due by dates.

Family- put up those walls to those that put burden on you. Be wise to your limits. If they ring to dump their problems change the subject subtly.

Work- leave it at the gate!! Dwelling on work issues is unpaid overtime! Most workplaces are toxic, accept it.

The we wait. Wait for the day things seem relaxed. Put your runners on and start with a stroll. Breath deep, focus on the bird sounds and live!.

An old friend once said "Tony, you havent lived until you've seen a flower bloom from start to finish." Well I've never had that much patience but the message hit home.

And I've never been able to get motivated until all my problems are sorted and then that golden day comes along. Until then its "fake motivation" and the problem with that is we feel we failed by attempting to do that exercise plan or go shopping or visit friends. All those "failures" add to our fragile minds. Our confidence shatters and we return to our doctors for an increase of medication and more frequent appointments.

Dont have too high expectations of yourself. Motivation will come and go depending on your mental state on the day.

Be fluid as your mind is

Tony WK

3 Replies 3

Nicholasz
Community Member

Hi Tony

Enjoyed your post as this is the first time for me. I am home today as feeling really down and need to readjust my mind and wellbeing. My wife has been supporting me and we are working on our relationship.

My feeling of failure has been with me for many years. I work in sales and feel I have let the client down and feel that bad today. My wife is putting all my fears in perspective. Have called beyond blue and mensline today as well.

I don't want to feel like this as anxiety and feeling down has put in here today. I will not try but to commit to talk and change.

Thanks you Nick

Hi Nick, welcome

Wll done in seeking help and also to your wife for her support.

Those with mental challenges (not necessarily illness) might be better to move away from high stress jobs like sales, teaching, police, security work.

Ive done insurance selling and the pressure was too much as well as targets and the fake world of positivity beyond real.

You might also consider part time work at s ok me point in your life.

Needless to mention your GP is worth a visit

Ive posted below some threads you can share with your wife.

Google

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: the frog and the scorpion- beyondblue

Tony WK

Hi Tony

thank you and appreciated the constructive info - I work in this field for now going to my 20years - you are correct illness or the strees and getting correct and not failing has added a Hugh load on my mind - I have a job now making feel like this as I feel I have myself down along with client and my company - I do have a very supportive manger he is excellent and says to me don't worry. It's always a challenge the older I get the more I strees. I do need to start again and reload with my attitude and mind.

going to the GP shortly - does help to see those words.

Regards Nick