30 seconds of survival during tough times: what is yours today?

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I have a little survival idea that want to run by you all:

I’m not asking for 30 hours or even 30 minutes. I’m only asking:

If you have been going through a hard time or struggling with something (whatever that may be) what were 30 seconds of respite, reprieve or relief that you experienced today? What were you doing in those 30 seconds?

You can write as often as you like or as infrequently as you like. It also doesn’t have to be 30 seconds either. That’s just a number that I chose, because I thought it would be doable for most people. It can be more or less than 30 seconds of survival.

I would love to hear from you 🙂

I’ll start:

On my way to work, I spotted some Christmas decorations, and instantly thought “oh, that’s so pretty!”

30 seconds of relief from my troubles. 30 seconds of survival.

Background/inspiration for this thread:

I was inspired by a book that I’ve been reading. It’s based on real life events where a woman lost her husband unexpectedly, and was left both a widow & single parent overnight.

As you can imagine, she struggled with immense grief and loss, and was unsure when she would be able to see beyond it...reminders of him were everywhere, and she wasn’t sure when the pain would ever subside.

But during a work meeting, while giving a presentation (or maybe she was chairing a meeting?), in that brief period, she forgot about her loss as she was immersed in her work. Sure, of course, her grief returned (as it often does). But in that brief moment, she felt a sense of “normalcy”, if there ever was such a thing.

Okay, so maybe work won’t be your “thing” and maybe it’s not grief that you’re struggling with. Maybe it’s something else (that’s okay and valid).

What I’m getting at is recognising our capacity to survive by recalling brief moments of survival. It all adds up...

Moments when either your pain, heartbreak, loss, disappointment (whatever you’re going through) was temporarily forgotten or even subsided a little. Moments, however fleeting but nonetheless important, of survival 🙂

[Gambit87]

Hi everyone!

Pepper.

I do those walks often - they are so soothing and comforting.

Arnt dogs just the best? I love watching dogs play.

Yesterday I was sitting at a park on my lunch break and I was just watching a swan in the lake going about its business.

[Guest_4643]

Hey Gambit87 and others.

I suppose you and everyone else are right about it can be the simple things in life that give us pleasure and whatnot.

I'm finding it hard lately, but that could be something I could try - writing down things I'm thankful for, like this thread. there's a few things but I have my moments when I can't think of anything, currently.

The current meds I'm taking I've been on for 2 weeks or and they make me feel more sick than the first ones I took. The first ones made me feel sick for a week then it stopped which is common. These ones make me feel sick for the entire day and I haven't vomited yet but it's getting worse at the moment. That in itself is making me depressed. My Psychiatrist will be putting me on new ones sometime next week and I'm scared again.

I guess I'm thankful to have a wonderful Psychiatrist. I've sat here thinking for a bit about something to say as a 30 second survival thing but I can't think of anything currently. I'm trying though.

i hope everyone is alright here, please stay safe and take care.

Tayla x

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful people,

I’m grateful for all your contributions. Many thanks for opening up 🙂

Everyone is welcome to share your moments of relief; more/less than 30 seconds is perfectly okay 😉

Tayla: I think your daily walks by the water sound soothing & soul nourishing. I love your description of the pretty sights on your walks like the birds.

I love watching birds too. I have a particular soft spot for kookaburras and fairy wrens 🙂

I love how motivated you are to help yourself; I think you have a great attitude. But can I gently suggest that you don’t put too much pressure on yourself to force those moments of relief?

Let those moments come to you...

Sometimes it can be as simple as a decision to do something (without necessarily thinking about whether it will give you relief or not).

For example, maybe I decide to make a salad one day, & during the process, I end up being briefly distracted as I chop the vegetables...thus temporarily forgetting my troubles a little due to my immersion in a task.

Even though I didn’t set out to find relief by making a salad, I ended up finding relief anyway by making a decision to do something unrelated to my troubles. Sorry, does that maybe help a little?

Then (theoretically) over time, those scattered moments can build to many moments of relief. E.g. relief from walks, distraction by watching a movie, calm by looking at scenery, peace from watching animals, etc.

It all adds up to reinforce that we don’t have to be completely stuck in our painful emotions forever. That there can be moments of relief, however minuscule at times.

That sometimes even if we can’t completely eliminate our struggles or difficult feelings, we can at least try to find ways to manage our pain...

Hope this helps a little 😉

katyonthehamsterwheel: what an empowering moment that you witnessed! What a revelation for you.

Yes, I agree that sometimes we have to ask and push for what we want in life, especially if it’s considered out of the norm or something that people usually overlook. Nice one!

Gambit: In that case, I hope you keeping going on those walks. I feel it can make such a difference to both our physical and mental health.

I wholeheartedly agree with you about dogs. They wear their hearts on their sleeves...

(Big smile), you see swans near work? That must be quite the sight. I rarely see swans. They’re majestic creatures...

Kindness and care,

Pepper

[Guest_4643]

Hey Pepper, I'm so sorry for just replying now. I'm still looking at all of the threads and replying so bare with me.

Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it. I love all animals, we have birds like that visit us - Kookaburras, Fairy Wrens, Willie Wagtails, Magpies, and more. I see Pelicans on my walks, Rosellas, Lorikeets, even saw a family of 4 Tawny Frogmouths which I never expected here! And many more birds, it's nice. But the loneliness and having no friends and so forth is hard. I don't even see any young people or if I do they're just rude and don't want to talk to me.

I'll do my best with your suggestions, thank you. I'm trying so hard.

Please take care yourself, I'm thinking of you, hope you're alright.

Love and hugs like usual,

Tayla xo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful people,

Tayla: I think that’s okay. Take your time with replies. There’s no rush or pressure 😉

I’m impressed. You certainly see a whole range of different birds! I was particularly amused by your pelican sightings. That’s a very special sight.

The loneliness that you feel is raw and palpable. I really do sense your need for genuine connection with your peers...

Thank you so much for thinking of me. I’ve been fantasising about working with elephants or dogs lately (laughs).

Me: during lunch, going outside for a change of scenery makes a huge difference, especially as I work in a high stress, fast paced environment.

Also, offline friends who texted at just the right time really helped today too. Grateful for them.

That’s my own personal contribution about my recent moments of relief 😉

Thank you for reading and please feel free to share your moments of relief and respite. Your 30 seconds of relief and respite (more or less than 30 sec is okay)...

kindness and care,

Pepper

[Gambit87]

Good morning legends,

I had many moments of relief yesterday, but the one that stuck was my beautiful girlfriend and I sitting on the couch making little jokes and laughing. It was beautiful.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful people,

Gambit: What a precious moment with your girlfriend. Reading that made me smile...

You sound as though you adore her sense of humour, and that you really cherish her company. I’m glad you have each other 🙂

Kindness and care to all,

Pepper

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Actually having a really bummed out day... but Gambit's post made me smile. That sounds real nice 🙂 So there's my (maybe) 30 seconds - thankyou!

[Gambit87]

Good morning everyone!

@ Peppermintbach - cant put into words how much I adore her. Thank you for your kind words!

@ Katyonthehamsterwheel - I'm glad I was able to make you smile for a little while. I hope you're having a better day today 🙂

So, I have a calendar where I have marked a count down to my long service leave (80 days left today). my 30 seconds of relief was going to officeworks and buying some gold stars. Everyday im going to be giving myself a gold star 🙂

[quirkywords]

Has anyone noticed on good days there so many wonderful minutes but during hard times sometimes finding the 30 secs can be difficult. Did not have a good day yesterday but seeing this thread and the fact that it was here reminded me we are not alone.

So thanks pepper.

Quirky