Too embarrassed to come out

[thehiss]

I have always known that I was gay, especially from a very young age. When I was growing up in the very late 90's and early 2000's I often heard people say derogatory things about LGBTQ+ people, however for the last 15 years I have pretty much been housebound due to my autism and anxiety disorders so I haven't had much interaction with other people. I'm now in my twenties but I'm too embarrassed to come out to people. I fear that if I do people are going to judge me or think that there is something seriously wrong with me (I won't go into detail about what I think people would say about me). I have been told by some of my relatives that people's views have changed a lot compared to 15 years ago, but I don't believe it. I still think that I should be keeping my head down and saying nothing or trying to 'hide' my sexuality. I feel like I will never be accepted and will always be a judged outcast. I know that this is a common issue for a lot of people who are part of the LGBTQ+ community, which in turn feeds into my fears even more. Anyway I just felt like letting this off my chest, thank you for taking the time to read this 🙂

[Spl spl]

Hi thehiss,

Hope you are doing okay. Would it help to look around at communities of people that accept LGBTQ+ people online? You wouldn't need to comment or anything. I know that when I feel worried about being accepted, I go on youtube and look at videos that are really positive. Such as LGBTQ+ tiktok compilations or gay youtubers that make skits.

If that isn't helpful there's also many subreddits for people who are LGBTQ+ too, where some posts can be quite relatable and it's nice to see people being supportive of each other.

I hope you can find more acceptance in your life soon and I hope this gave you an idea of some positive things to look at and feel better 🙂

[CalmCat]

Hi thehiss,

Thanks for such a open and courageous post.

I came out in 2003 and what a great journey it has been!

But firstly, please don't feel any shame for being the brave soul that you are. There is absolutory nothing wrong with being gay, and if anyone has a problem with it, its their problem.

There are so many great LGBTI events out there that you'd love, give Google a search!

Let us know how you go!

Regards,

D

[Samantha19]

I’m pansexual and I also was so scared no one would accept me but I did and some people disagreed but that’s okay that’s shows who really is your friends or close people but come out when you’re ready there’s no rush just take time untill your ready. Oh btw congratulations on being gay so proud you found your sexuality it took me when I was 13 to find mine

[CalmCat]

Hi Samantha19,

Thank you so much for sharing!

Reading your post made me smile, I'm so glad your community has accepted you. Keep being your wonderful self, and remember 'You do you!' Have a great week.

Regards,

D

[Mudcakes]

It’s ok. 💖

People are more accepting of lgbtq+ people these days. I know it may be hard to think this way as you grew up in the time were people like us were treated so bad. I’m 16 and Bisexual and knowing people are accepting I am still very guarded myself. And to be honest many people can feel this way even in the times of now. For you there’s that extra added fear from when you were growing up and we are all here for you💖🏳️‍🌈
There is a great service called Qlife that offers webchat/ counselling with fellow lgbt volunteers and that really helps.
There are also great social media accounts with positive lgbt content. I myself have major social anxiety and NVLD and don’t have really any friends and struggle to socialise, so I understand not socialising with people.

(NVLD has some similar struggles as ASD)

I think Q life will help and the lgbt accounts. Maybe finding a lgbt forum will help too. We are all here for you.💖

Mudcakes🐕‍🦺🎂

[Helarctus]

Hello thehiss,

Who you love, is your business. Things have changed over the decades, they are better now than they were and will keep getting better. More people are accepting of the LGBTQ+ slice of life, as noted above there are more forums and support communities than ever before. If your not ready to talk to your immediate available network of friends and family then those channels are a good place to talk to other people who will have similar life experiences.

Autism is a potent buzzword at the moment, a lot of people say it without understanding what it means for the people who live with the different aspects in the spectrum(s). Again, things are better now than they were as community education and support services expand and develop.

Just let me hold your beer, you've got this 🙂

Helarctus.

[Guest_4643]

Hey there thehiss, welcome.

Congrats on you coming out as gay, I'm proud of you. I can imagine the anxiety etc about feeling judged, but rest assured this is a judgement free zone, I know you meant in person though.