Sick of the hate

[Aussie Platypus]

Having trouble expressing myself but I guess I feel like I’m constantly fighting. Fighting for people to use my pronouns, fighting to be safe, fighting to be loved, fighting to be respected & fighting for kids. I’m a student TA and all the gender bias in schools is suffocating and I’m an adult! I’m also a Scout Leader and the only out gender fluid one that I know about and the gender stereotypes 🤯. I’m tired and I’m so lost, where do I even start! I know that there is at least 2 kids that are struggling with their identity and they aren’t even comfortable enough to talk to me about it. Stupid small minded little town.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Aussie Platypus,

We are glad that you've joined and posted in our forum. We are a very supportive community, and we would like to help you continue finding the strength to be proudly, comfortably, and happily who you truly are.

It's so unfortunate that there are people out there who seem to be threatened by that which is different, and yet is no actual threat to them.

It is usually quite beneficial to communicate with people who are understanding and supportive. We would encourage you to contact qlife at
https://qlife.org.au/resources/chat
between 3 PM and midnight every day.

We are here for you.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.
 

[jaz28]

Hi there,

I am sorry you are struggling to feel heard. What are your pronouns, if I may ask? Also, I love your profile picture!

I applaud you for being open about your gender fluidity and attempting to break the stigma. The scouts and students are hiding their true selves and they probably actually look up to you. But because the stigma is so deep-rooted in the system, it can be really difficult to come out. Would they feel comfortable if you broke the ice first, do you feel?

Somebody out there probably thinks you are amazing! 🙂 There may be some kids struggling that you cannot tell and they most likely look up to you. It is a hard time. Last week was IDAHOBIT (International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, Intersexism and Biphobia), and just reminds us our the importance of allies and all they do for the LGBTQI+ community. I am a proud ALLY and you should find those in your town that are as well, not all of them would be "small-minded" as you say...I hope. Keep being you and try not to let this get in the way of your shine.

All the best,

Jaz xx

[Centaured]

G'day ausie platypus. I'm sorry you're experiencing so much hate and transphobia. It is hard to be ourselves, and then go face so much stigma doing so sucks. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

And I hear you don't want others to go through what you have, to be a champion for those struggling with their identities, and show them it's ok to be out and proud. And as Jaz said the kids probably look up to you.

Being a teacher assistant and scout leader you have many opportunities to be the change you wish to see. You may feel like your cracking under the pressure to be the leader you want to be but it takes guts to do what you are doing and you are probably a lot stronger than you thing you are.

I myself am non-binary. I hope you can find the support here, we are mixed bunch at beyond blue, but that is what makes it great, such a vast wealth of knowledge and experience.

Just one more thing thing, you mentioned you're struggling with being safe, just thought I'd check in in this regard. How you going?

[Aussie Platypus]

Hi Sophie!

I haven’t heard of qlife before so I will check it out! Thank you!

[Aussie Platypus]

Hi Jaz! My pronouns are they/them (thank you for asking!)

I don’t feel like I can be loud about my gender fluidness(?), from the outside I’m like a chic who doesn’t shave I guess. I’m known as a ‘mum’ as well so people know my birth gender by the fact I’m a mum. I’m not a loud queer person naturally either. I wear they/them pins on my trans 🏳️‍⚧️ flag lanyard but people just don’t pay attention to those things I guess.

[Aussie Platypus]

Hi Centaured!

I worry about my safety a little when I’m out in the general community by myself. I know I’m an easy target but so far I haven’t been hurt physically.

Emotionally hurt is another matter, I’m regularly mis gendered and I try not to be too sensitive about it but I guess I actually feel really disappointed in people (like my mum) who I thought were better then that.

[Centaured]

Im sorry you feel hurt and let down by the world. Constantly having to fight for your identity, it shouldn't be this hard just to be ourselves. Having ones gender/identity confirmed is about acknowledgement of who they are and and that they matter. I want to say you matter, and you deserve to be respected.

Dumb question, but do you firmly correct and call out people on they're misgendering and wrong pronouns. Some people are just dumb, ignorant and don't know or pay attention to subtle hints and need to be corrected multiple times til they get it, and may still slip up on the odd occasion. Like my mum also wouldn't get til I said you either accept it or you accept me or I'm out of your life, it took that for her to realise how important it was for me. She still doesn't agree with it due to religious reasons, but respects me and my pronouns now.

Some people don't understand how much it means to us. They might not consciously be misgendering you but just don't get it. Please continue to be strong and find a way to continue to be you and stand up for your right to be known correctly and heard.

Btw side note: pronoun pins are awesome. I have one myself.

[Aussie Platypus]

To Centaured,

I think I need to be a little more ‘firm’ in getting people to use my pronouns. I realise it’s a’new’ thing for people to get used too but I dunno don’t I deserve the respect?

I’m encouraging people to watch the show ‘Heartstopper’ hoping maybe that will give them a better idea but 🤷🏻.

[Centaured]

I wanna say that, Yes, you do deserve the respect. You deserve everything in the world to be acknowledged and confirmed for who you are. You, you identity, matter. I encourage to stand firm, and try to make them to understand.