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Out at last
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Hello everyone,
I'm a typical man lilke everyone else but was born and raised in Malaysia. I came to Australia 11 years ago to study, finished my studies and been working since. I got married before I came to Australia, which was expected by my family ie to be a good son, brother, uphold the family name etc. I knew about my sexuality ever as long as I could remember. I have suppresed my feelings, sexuality, married with kids, I thought I done it well.
Living in Australia opened my percerption and views about my sexuality. I started to explore my sexuality and started to like being with another man. I realised that nothing is wrong being gay (where it is not accepted in Malaysia) and I do can live my life as a gay man. But since I was married I thought I can keep it low and seek for pleasure whenver I need but everytime I do do it I feel guilty. There were weeks and days that I gone by sleepless and cried deep inside me for leading a double life. There were time I considered ending my life but again that does'nt solve anything.
This was going on for couple of years , so September last the I came out after five sleepless nights and talking to a friend of mine who supported my decision to come out. I came to my wife and family members. No one took it well but slowly my side of family accepted me for who I am. My wife and her family took it hard. My wife and I visited a councillor and talked about the issues. Her emotions are up and down every now and then. All I want is a good life and I can carefor my kids and run my life that I wanted.
The divorce is end of this year and I don't know what to expect during the process. What are my responsbilities for my kids? I need help as I done know who to approach. I need some guidence please.
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Hey mate, it sounds like you're over the worst of it. The pressure of leading a double life is unfair on everyone, especially you, and you shouldn't have to do it. So glad to hear your family are starting to come round.
With the divorce side of things, you'll have to provide child support payments and you should have access rights to the kids of course. You might want to try looking up some government or family law websites for more detailed info.
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dear Marcello, thanks for your comment.
I am pleased that Justinok has replied to you and I believe that he is always open for any conversation regarding this topic, although it's not right that I am presumptuous, so I'm sorry if I have upset him.
It's not possible to live a double life, because somewhere along the way you will be caught out and if or when this happens it makes the situation more difficult to handle.
Your wife's emotions are going to be up and down, and with your kids, well you're still their father and have any right to see them, but yes you will have to pay child support, and have a right to decide with your wife what school they go to, and this includes any activities they want to join, but that could be your choice whether you want to do this or whether you leave your then ex to decide. Geoff.
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