LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

[MsPurple]

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community.

A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations 🙂 Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all."

If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything

Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s

I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer

Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums

MP 🙂

[Just Sara]

My dear wounded Danny;

Not only was I outraged by the details of your experience, I'm deeply angered by 'them' hurting a dear friend of mine. How you handled things is a credit to you, though I can't imagine your feelings of disappointment, personal hurt and betrayal in the moment and afterwards.

This equality debate can bring out the best in people, but unfortunately it brings out the worst too. When I read your words, I wanted to severely kick butts...honestly! It tares me up inside knowing you faced this alone. No street smarts could've prepared you for that.

I'm so sorry Danny; my heart and hugs go out to you. I only wish I could be there to console you my sweet. My hand would gently be sitting on your shoulder as you vent your pain without judgement, and in safety.

All my love Sez xoxo

[MsPurple]

Hi Sara. Yeah I wasn't sure what the word was but I just went with procreation. What I meant was, yes a man and woman was made to make the first baby and to grow the population (I think, I am speaking on what I think not what is fact). HOWEVER a man and woman is not needed to raise a baby, just loving parent/s. I grew up with my parents divorsed so I know what it's like to not have a 'nuclear' family and I was ok with it. Kids just need love. And that episode sounds beautiful. What show was it on? I might see if I can find it online.

[Raynor]

I like that story too Sara. That was one of the reasons it took me so long to come out to myself as trans.

[MsPurple]

Yeah ignorant and hurtful people make it harder for people to come out. It's sad because people hide who they really are. I have only told my parents and close family I am bisexual. I haven't told a lot of my highschool friends, but I don't live in my home town anymore and haven't been able to catch up for a while. I will tell them in time. Not rushing it. My friends up here in Brissy know. I'm just waiting for the right time. If I was in a same sex relationship I would tell them via fb because I don't ever want to hide a relationship

[inner_strength_]

Dan! You poor thing. Screw that! You should be able to feel safe especially in your own home. That is absolutely horrid! Don’t let that discourage you even though people can suck and can’t think for themselves! Close minded people can just agree with the majority .. even through the hurt and not an ideal situation is not okay no matter what! proud of you for standing strong and standing up for who you are!

Have not experienced repeated direct homophobia, (called Dyke..) however, have mentioned before and what MsPurple touched on (obviously each experience is different). But have felt shame and a ‘hard-to-find-myself’ experience… in a long-term relationship and It has felt like ‘homophobia’ from one of my parents calling my partner or asking for a while if my partner of so many years is just a friend. Get that can be construed as time parents need to deal with things. Which also frustrates me!! Because why should we feel like such outcasts that need to be worked out how to be loved again.

Probably the other week actually, experienced possible homophobia. Was actually SO annoyed. Short story – babysitted cousins, cousin had friend over at their place, mother came and picked up child, stood at door, stared myself and partner up and down and quickly ran in to get her child and leave without saying anything ..as though we were not okay to be keeping her child safe and don’t want to go in to the rest. Homophobia is NOT okay and should not be tolerated.


MarkJT! Thank you for your open-mindedness!

[Just Sara]

Hey to all posting/reading;

It's hard enough to cope with comments from strangers, let alone hurtful words or inferences from those we know, trust or care about.

When I was a teen I had a sleepover with my friend. I had little knowledge about sexuality or my own identity. During the night I became overwhelmed by feelings of love towards her. I slid my hand down her arm in an intimate manner and she woke up with a fright.

I faced a barrage of aggressive yelling, name calling and finger pointing. I can't express adequately how confused, embarrassed and hurt I was.

What I'm getting at, is that our actions and words were of 'innocence'. Both young, hormonal, ignorant and reactive. We spoke about this situation at length where I apologised incessantly saying I was dreaming, and she ended up sleeping on the lounge 'for her own protection'.

It's effect taught me not to express my love for women because it was harmful to me and others. Had we both had access to psychological resources and information, things may have been different.

I don't know why I've bought this up today actually. I guess Inner Strength's (Eyes) experience with babysitting and Danny facing hurtful and insensitive comments from people he trusted, triggered something; not sure what yet.

I feel it though; not just for me, but for everyone.

Caring hurts...

Sara xoxo

[Raynor]

I get this. So hard. My family doesn't yet know I'm transitioning but they've known I'm gay/queer for a while. They won't let me be alone with my nephews (aged 4 and nearly 6) in case, I don't know, I give them gay germs or something. I joke about it but it's actually really terrible.

[MsPurple]

Sara and inner strength I'm so sorry to hear your homophobic stories. I get everyone goes through puberty and struggles with identity and freaks out, but it could have been handled in a better way.

I myself haven't had too many homophobic moments because I haven't really been seen with a woman. The only time was when I was seeing someone and kissed her and guys wanting to take photos then asking us to make out with them. It ticked me off because I was having a good night, and didn't wanna be seen like a piece of meat. If a guy was kissing a girl how is it appropriate for us to ask them to kiss us, what makes it ok for them to do that to us?

MP

[Lonelydan]

Hello my rainbow family, I'm so grateful to have you all caring about me, every single post has helped me. I'm so sorry everyone has experienced the same homophobia. They attacked me and my child I was accused of being a pedophile. No child should be placed with a f----- why would they say that I would never do to a child what was done to me i'm still upset I continue this later

[Just Sara]

Dearest Danny;

Just horrendous and vile! How dare they attack your beautiful soul like that! I've had to take a deep breath. Please don't let their words wound you...please.

You have enough wounds from your life without that added pressure. Anger is your only response. Report the bastards! Who's the groups' funding body or umbrella organisation? Who rents the room out to them. The local council maybe? Anything...just fight back!

I'm angry and upset this has happened; for so many reasons. I'm sorry I yelled like that. I won't delete it because people need to know I'm outraged.

I hope you're sitting down, because I'm actually lost for words...

Sez xoxoxoxox