LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

[MsPurple]

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community.

A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations 🙂 Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all."

If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything

Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s

I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer

Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums

MP 🙂

[JDF]

Hi, I am not sure if this is the right place to post this? But I am really struggling atm. I don’t know where to start to get help. I am experiencing fairly debilitating gender dysphoria, I have experienced it with varying degrees since I was a child. But it is the worst it’s ever been, the last time I felt this depressed was when I was going through puberty. I have used drugs and alcohol my whole life to try to feel better and have found that substances have helped. I know I am killing this body and I don’t care, But now I am a parent and I can’t kill myself etc and have nobody to talk to about this stuff. I am feeling agoraphobia on top of this so I really struggle to imagine leaving the house (even imagining going to a therapist is scary atm.) If i could get out of this body and get into a robot body or something I would feel ok. I feel disgusting and I have started smoking weed everyday to numb all these feelings but it is not something I want to have to do, especially being a parent now. Does anyone know where to start with dealing with this? I can’t see how I could leave this body without dying. I am not trans but I am in the middle, cannot stand this body but don’t want to change sex. I am incredibly uncomfortable having any biological sex.

[Sophie_M]

Hi JDF,

First of all we want to thank you for taking this brave first step and sharing a little of you journey with us here today. We know it isn't easy, but it is so important that you have.

Our wonderful welcoming online forums community give and receive support to one another based on their own experiences with mental health, some of which will be similar to yours.

While the peer support offered here is often quick, it isn't immediate. If you wanted more immediate support, please feel free to reach out to the mental health professionals at our support service for brief counselling, support and referrals. They're available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636. https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/ is another great resource that offers free support for those battling with drugs and alcohol. Our friends at QLife offer support especially for  LGBTIQ+ communities, which includes helping those who feel like they're in the wrong bodies. They are available from 3pm to midnight AEDT by phone on 1800 184 527 or webchat via https://qlife.org.au/ ever day.

Welcome to our valued online forums community. Please keep reaching out and letting us know how you're getting on whenever you feel up to it.

[Traveler942]

Hi Everyone

I was born in the sixties had very low self-esteem and was attracted to same sex. I looked up to and envied men that could identify as gay or bisexual. But because of what I believed was right for me had heterosexual relationships. After several failed relationships I have decided to reach out and go with what my heart an head said. Three months, I'm struggling but think I'm doing the right thing. Have met someone genuine (I think ) online. Just looking for some advice or to confirm it's okay or just someone to chat to about how I feel. The anxiety keeps popping up

[Lonelydan]

Hi JDF, You are not disgusting and self medicating has been your bandaids don’t beat yourself up about it. Transgender can be at different levels some people want full surgery some people are happy just to dress. Have you ever explored dressing in the gender you desire this can be done using a dressing service. You are not alone so many people experience These feelings but never act or explore them it’s so hard. Cross dressing Offers release possibly soothing. I’m not sure by your post what body you desire male or female or how you identify now. Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean your world needs to stop. find others , there are so many out there just need to find each other. You may need to say goodbye to others so you can be your true self. I think you know who you are start saying it claim it. hope this helps but tiny bit

Lonelydan....

[Lonelydan]

Hi Traveler942, A lot of people don’t come out to later that’s ok and it’s good to read your activity seeking to explore this now good on you. The heart and head are always a good indication of what you really desire. You don’t need to come out to the world just yourself that’s all that really matters to be honest with yourself. Have you met the person you’ve been chatting to online?. Is this person in a similar situation to yourself or are they openly gay. I’m gay so I understand online dating is going to be a whole new experience for you I’m here if you need someone to hold your hand. Lonelydan....

[JDF]

Thank you lonelydan. Thank you for your reply. It feels a bit better to even say this and I really appreciate your reply. I think I do need to remove certain people from my life at this point because their view of me really triggers me tbh. Becoming a parent is a massive trigger also but there’s nothing I can do about that. I love my child but I don’t want the feelings that have come from becoming a parent. I have experimented with dressing etc, I’m not trans so it is not like that can alleviate those feelings but it is something I guess. I do appreciate your response, thank you lonelydan.

[JDF]

Thank you sophie_m. I appreciate your response and the helpful links. Thank you

[Bellsie1]

Hi,

I have a problem. I was in a fight recently with someone. They used to be my friend and earlier in the year I told them I was pansexual. It was just for her to know. Now she told someone (another friend) and I was going to tell her in my own time. Now the person she told hates me because I'm pan. I've known her since I was 5 and I don't want to lose another friend. What do I do?

Bellsie1

[Jo8049]

Firstly , thank you all for input and presence . I live in a,remote area and so I am low key and what most of you would consider old . I have suppressed my second spirit since my first memories . Have been trying to answer the question of who and what ? From reading here I have seen many small bits,and pieces that put together have had an eye ( and heart ) opening effect . Now aware of the diversity of all human kind and of the multitude of combinations . None of it is wrong ( unless unkind , hurtful bad karma stuff ) because of that diversity you all speak of . Thank you . Even the anxiety has changed to happy anxiety ? I got a link to you tube from I think mspurple , Luka " The Gender Code " very long but very very good ( for me anyway ) Put so much into perspective . Stay safe always , love to all Jo W

[Bellsie1]

anyone?