I think I’m lesbian

[brooked]

I’m 30 years old and have recently realised I might be lesbian i work on a mine site and a female medic came to site I fell in love with her. I have never really experienced this feeling before but think I may have always been attracted to woman! I was sexually abused by a male as a child is this why I might be lesbian? I’m so confused and don’t know how to deal with these feelings and scared of what others may think

[Doolhof]

Hi brooked,

Welcome to the community here. If you don't mind me asking, have you received any counselling for he abuse? Do you have people you have been able to talk with about it?

I am assuming there may not be many people at the mine whom you feel comfortable talking with about how you are feeling. Would you consider giving Beyond Blue a call and they may be able to make some suggestions or offer contacts of people you could talk to if needed.

I am not an expert at all, but I believe it is reasonable for a person whop has been abused by a male to feel safer with a female. I believe there are many different reasons as to why a person falls in love with a person of the same sex.

Is this lady still at the mine? Have you been able to talk to her and maybe see how she feels about a possible relationship or even a friendship?

These days same sex relationships are certainly a lot more accepted than many years ago. Some people may not be able to understand your choice, but at the end of the day it is your life and your choices that matter.

Cheers to you from Dools

[SammyB]

Hi brooked,

Welcome to the forums. Sounds like you are going through a confusing time and I understand how scared you must be feeling. For myself, initially coming out as a lesbian was a difficult battle between my feelings about being attracted to the same sex and my thoughts about being judged negatively by my family and friends. At the end of the day, I had to be honest with myself and I am lucky to have a supportive group of people who are accepting of who I am.

Similar to what Dools had mentioned - nobody except for yourself can tell you who you’re attracted to and I wouldn’t rush to put a label on yourself. It would be difficult to say that because of your experiences as a child you are now having these feelings towards women. If you are having a hard time working through your experience of abuse it may also be helpful to reach out for professional support, as Dools mentioned, the Support Service could help you look into some options if you are looking for additional supports (1300 22 4636 / www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport). I would start by giving yourself time to be open and explore these feelings and see where that takes you.

Appreciate you sharing,

Sammy

[Max-Jayne]

Don’t you worry... I’m not out of school yet but I know how you feel. I only recently figured out I’m a lesbian, even though ages ago I thought I was bisexual... anyway, that’s not the point... experiment. Experimenting will help you figure yourself out, but also, don’t lie to yourself to suit anyone else. I had that problem when I was forcing myself to think “ah, I don’t like girls” or “I don’t even wanna kiss her”... just so you know, I had those thoughts for about 7 years... and that was tough

dint ever think you are alone

[Tails91]

Hi brooked

i feel you here hun I’m so confused right now to if u want to talk more repond bak