How do I make gay friends my age?

[lamstokindustries]

I am a 20 year old, nonbinary, gay person in melbourne. I have never been able to make gay friends my age. I can never seem to find anyone.

All I want is to make a genuine connection and make some male friends. I feel so lonely and have no idea where to look. I've tried joining groups but I can never find them or I don't get responses back once i've applied...

Can anyone help me?

Now don't get me wrong I love my girl friends to bits... but I just want some male friends so I have someone to talk about things with that'll understand better. Might sound dumb but... I want that bromance feeling.

If anyone has any suggestions, please, help me.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Been a while on this site without a reply, sorry about.

I have no advice really, I'm straight and that tends to restrict my knowledge lol. Nobody will judge you here. In my case when working in a jail in 1978 period the best advice for my roller coaster relationship was from gay , LGBTIQ guys!

So my advice is like anyone else- computer sites, gay clubs and so on. As long as if you advertise you do so exactly what you'd like to see in a friend or relationship and dont settle for less.

I hope it all goes well

TonyWK

[On The Road]

Hi, lamstokindustries

Welcome to the forum 🙂 Sorry that you feel lonely sometimes and I understand you want some gay male friends that can echo more and understand you more on some issues.

Bromance is not dumb it is actually a great thing that many ppl want.

20 yo is young and (relatively) easier to make friends, are you a student? Have u ever tried in your school? They usually have queer students' social groups that are more than welcome. Are you into gaming? that's another area where you can make friends, easier to fit in than some sports group or boardgame group requiring some specialised skills.

Feel free to share more about you, what does a ideal friendship mean to you.... we are here to listen 🙂

[sbella02]

Hey Iamstokindustries,

A warm welcome to our forums, and thank you so much for sharing your experience.

As a nearly 20-year-old bisexual female, I understand the struggle of finding other queer friends, particularly during the pandemic where going out has been restricted. I am lucky enough to have found a group of queer friends through uni, completely coincidentally. I also know of a few LGBTQIA+ clubs at my uni as well. If you are a student, it may be useful to have a look around to see if there are any similar clubs that you can join.

Wearing pride pins or dressing up using the non-binary flag colours may also attract queer friends or potential partners who may introduce you to queer friends. It's just a way of letting others in the community know that you're also a part of the community.

Discord may be a great place to start if you'd like to make some online friends who are in the community. Even Reddit may be a useful resource, as I believe they have chat forums as well. Online friends can be a fantastic source of friendship and support, without the obligation of meeting up in person. Just remember to be safe when making friends online, as not everybody out there has the best intentions when meeting up.

I hope this advice is somewhat helpful to you, please feel free to have more of a chat. Do you have any queer friends already? If you do, could they maybe introduce you to other friends?

All the best, SB 🙂

[tmas]

Same age, same issue!

A little left of field, but some apps have settings for socialising rather than dating. On bumble you can fill out a profile advertising for friends instead of relationships, and while I’m not sure of the quality of the service, I’m sure a quick google search could tell you more about it.

As mentioned above, pins or flags on bags or clothes/makeup are great conversation starters, particularly in a uni environment and particularly coming out of tight covid restrictions - lots of people are looking to socialise with like-minded people.

Making friends is hard, particularly without a mutual friend to introduce you first - I’m a uni student though and that’s a hugely helpful platform to find/start social groups for queer students or simply wear your heart on your sleeve. If you don’t go to a uni, maybe try events found online such as facebook or lgbt+ clubs, or even uni parties for schools you don’t attend. It goes without saying to do so safely and attend within reason, bring a friend etc.

[casisempathetic]

Look for local LGBTQIA social services, i use Twenty10 in Sydney to meet folk like myself and it works wonders, if there's something similar in Melbourne give that a go!

[sbella02]

That's some great advice, Tmas. I hadn't even really considered dating apps that have socialisation settings but I suppose that has merit, considering you can set your sexual preference on most, if not all of them.

As Casisempathetic has suggested too, searching for local LGBTQIA+ services in your state/area may also be a good idea.

Are you currently studying, training, or working? These can also be fantastic situations in which to meet people.

[-headintheclouds-]

Hi lamstokindustries,

I'm loving the other responses on here, online groups, especially more location-specific pages like Facebook, are great for meeting new people - I myself like location-specific pages because sometimes the admins will organise meetups locally, so you'd have the opportunity to meet online friends in person in a safe and supportive environment.

Another suggestion is to look into cafe meetups and peer groups in your area. As I don't know the specific area you're in, I looked up some general Melbourne-based groups and websites that are worth looking at:

• https://monashhealth.org/services/gender-clinic/resources/trans-gender-diverse-and-non-binary-peer-support-groups/
• https://www.minus18.org.au/events
• https://www.queerspace.org.au/our-services/queerspace-youth/

Hope these help 🙂

- TC (She/They)