- Beyond Blue Forums
- People like me
- Sexuality and gender identity
- good idea to confess to bi bff who’s in a relation...
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Pin this Topic for Current User
- Follow
- Printer Friendly Page
good idea to confess to bi bff who’s in a relationship?
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
hi all,
believe me, i know the title sounds bad, but bear with me as there’s a bit of backstory here.
roughly 2yrs ago my best friend came out as bi, & was the first to come out in our friend group. not only was i the last one to know, i was also the only one who didn’t know the identity of this mysterious girl who “went to another school” that caused her gay awakening.
cutting a long story short, mainly consisting of myself being insanely dense, enough to miss her obvious flirting with me (she described her crush, me, to me but i still didn’t take the hint)
funnily enough i felt strangely jealous of this girl & even started questioning my own identity, which i told the friend in question about. i even came to a point where i was about to ask her out, as a friend has accidentally let slip it was me she liked.
now to this day i still question what happened, but somehow i suddenly forgot about my sexuality crisis for two whole years??
it was only earlier this year i realised im a demi-aro/ace lesbian, & have been in love with her for 2 years.
but by this time it was too late, as a couple months prior i’d moved across the country (somewhat permanently), and i knew i’d missed my chance.
ive always held onto the hope that once i finish school (less than a year away) i would move back and we could be together, but 3 months ago she got a boyfriend. this threw me for a loop, as i’m not jealous (he’s been really good for her, insanely so) but sometimes i guess i can’t help but with it had been me.
ive been talking with her more lately, and getting a lot of mixed messages. she’s been telling me more about her bf, but also made me a playlist with love songs very personalised to us and our history?? i think she’s always suspected i liked her but i was too deep in the closet to see past my denial.
i’ve brought up polyamory before, as we talk a fair bit about how we both don’t feel like monogamy is the thing for us, and i would definitely be down to work out some sort of relationship with her and her bf, i guess it’s just hard because physically i’m so far away.
sometimes i just think about telling her how i feel, just to get the anxiety off my chest and so i can stop constantly mulling over the what-ifs. i doubt it would greatly affect our friendship, even if she doesn’t return my feelings, but i fear im only being brave cuz i’m not there in person.
maybe it’s just a nasty combination of first love and ‘distance fosters fondness’
am i out of my mind???
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
Hello CJ 43 , I have just discovered Polyamory and it seems liberating ? You have time and distance on your side at present . You are not concerned about her man and rejoice her happiness , this quite possibly is the foundation for a very beautiful life long friendship .
Friends care and love each other , have each other's back etc . Intimacy on many levels to . Enjoy the journey and if you truly feel wrong with anything just don't go there .
Hugs Jo ❤️