Gays and lesbians discriminate against bi, trans, intersex and non binary gendered people.

[Paul]

I think that we're losing our community spirit.

I think that we're focusing on ourselves as just the gay people.

I think we're fighting for rights for gays, not for our community as a whole. The community who is looked upon as sexually different. Anything or anyone that is not heterosexual or heteronormative is considered to be part of "that" group. That's what it was like 20 years ago. If you weren't straight, then you were over "there with them"

We banded together as a community, Gay, Lesibian, Bi, Trans, Intersex, Queer, Poz. We all got together because we were put in the same boat. We rowed, and rowed, fought, bailed water and worked together.

Now that being gay is become less confronting, us gays and lesbians are leaving our bi, trans, intersex queer and poz brothers and sisters behind.

It's still too easy to think of being Bi as "he's just on his way out of the closet"

Do us gays stop and think what it would be like to be Transgender? Knowing you are not what your physical sex indicates and the struggle happening inside yourself and within the world? 

What if you were intersex? How about the confusion and periods of adjustment?

Think about not identifying as either gender and just being. Really think about it. Is your name applicable? What do people think? Do you have to think about everything you ever do so society isn't confused? What if you just love someone of any sex because of the person they are?

HIV is a condition that requires ongoing management. What about the social stigma? How do you feel every time you meet someone new and the fear of telling them and them running away because they don't understand or misunderstand? How about people thinking that you are something dirty or someone "different" because it won't happen to you?

Us gays and lesbians have a way to go for equality. Our BTIQ+ brothers and sisters are here to travel this road with us and always have been.

It's time to stop and take notice of how we frame our thinking and digest the news and converse with friends. "We" means all of us! We all want equality. We all want to be recognised. We all want to be loved. We all want to love. We are all different and amazing.

Here's one example of my whole point: "Gay Marriage" - we all know it means marriage equality. We just think that it's gays who want to marry too. Bi guy marrying his lover? Trans woman marrying her lover? non binary gendered female marrying her female lover? 

What are your thoughts community?

Paul xx

[Gruffudd]

Hi Paul,

I feel like it is a yes and a no from me. 

I have identified as genderqueer for many years, my gender is non binary and not all that fixed. There are male and female elements but not a whole. I do like to have longer fingernails that look rather good in green. I like clothes that are not particularly tied to gender. And, if I worry about what others think of it I might not ever accept me. My body some days isn't mine, I see my limbs and they are wrong, other days it is what it is. At school I used to think of myself as a tom girl and was suspended after it was found out that I had been playing inter school sport netball as a girl for several months (unnoticed by the teachers). I also got in trouble for joining the cheerleaders squad in similar circumstances. The thing is I never wanted to be a girl, or a boy, I just wanted to be me. 

I think there is an invisibility in the community. People are far more comfortable with variations in sexuality then they are with gender. It means that I get described as being gay but never as genderqueer. When I was going out with a transman it happened to him too, all of a sudden he was gay and nothing else. 

It is strange how HIV and the people living with it have been pushed out of focus. I remember growing up that it was almost what defined us as a community and I sort of expected that it would be my future. I don't want to forget the people we lost or the journey of the people who are living with the virus. Those stories matter, and some are my friends. 

My experience is a small piece of a puzzle. I think if there is an answer it is in acknowledging, accepting, listening to, and celebrating the person in front of you. I love all the variation in our community, that to me is the magic of our rainbow.  I want there to be all kinds of people in my life and to share their stories, both the ones that have been visible and the stories that have been ignored. 

[Paul]

Thanks heaps Rob.

I really like the idea of sharing stories and celebrating the person in front of us (or behind a keyboard).  I really like hearing your stories that are so different to mine but shared without fear and received without judgement. I was trying to imagine what it was like for young you. Was it cheeky or was it innocent and just what you did or was it a protest?

I'm really looking forward to hearing from other people especially BTIQ+ people with their thoughts on what i've called "our gay prejudice" and what their experience has been.

Paul

[Gruffudd]

Well, I was just being me, a queer kid. I remember being very confused by the idea that I am meant to be a boy. It just didn't make sense. It was the 80's so whilst I eventually figured out what was going on, there was no support for any kind of transgender or gay person, especially not in primary school. 

I have seen plenty of behaviour from gay men over the years that disappoints me, especially towards trans people and lesbians. I think you are right Paul, definitely an issue. 

[Flirtie]

Hello everyone, 

I  am Kristyana  a trans advocate  and writer . I  come here to  share  my insights  into the issues  the rainbow  community  faces  and sometimes unfortunately  perpetuates .

There are unfortunately  intolerant  elements in all communities whatever  their sexuality or gender. It is often the case that the most vial of behaviour  can come  from those who are aware .Because they are part of the community they have insight into the feelings of others and are able to connect with hostile comments at will. They are a minority in all communities but not a silent  minority  by any stretch. 

As there are radical feminists,  there are also radical misogynists and  radical gender jihadists  as I  call them. None of these people  represent the majority  as none of the  transphobes or homophobes represent the general population. 

Personally I believe thatit is always  real that the majority believe  in equity, that being that all people  be given  support necessary  to be on a level  playing field. 

It is easy to forget those who have had the least opportunity to shine and I  have championed an independent Trans and Gender Diverse voice for thst section of the community for some time  now. This is not to divide but to create equity in the discourse. There has always  been an imbalance it is simply mathematics,  we are smaller in numbers and our life challenges often leave us in a worse financial position.  That still further dilutes our strength. 

The challenge in any unified structure of minorities is to ensure equity is achieved if it is to truly function for all. Sometimes the issue in community is that the minority  actually  are in control  and that  is a toxic  thing that drives wedges  deep into the culture. 

There is always  an answer  and it is oh so old . Participation. 

Politics is what is happening  and as a saying I have heard goes. .

Politics you either play or get played.  So the rational majority always has the opportunity to change things  we only have to participate genuinely. Support those who are attempting to speak for you and you empower yourself. I am one who  refusesthe victim status to many  have been  will to hold.

Apologies for the long winded comments but I fear community is my heart and soul. 

Thanks for your patience. 

[justinok]

I think looking back a few years I used to be transphobic, or at least trans ignorant. I don't claim to be a saint now but I'd like to think I am better educated and understand more about the gender spectrum.  It was actually meeting an intersex person for the first time and hearing their (don't know preferred gender pronoun in this case) story that really opened my eyes about what it must be like to land in a world where everything you see is either - this is the BOY box and this is the GIRL box, and what if you feel like neither?  I didn't realise at that point how much I had taken my own gender identity for granted.  Sure I had and have experienced a lot of bs as a gay male about not being a real man and all that crap, but through it all I have never felt confusion about being male, even if I haven't felt great about myself as a person within that identity.  

Slightly on the side, but really worth having a look if you get time, an awesome TED talk you can look up by Ivan Coyote about why we need gender neutral bathrooms... really gave me something to think about, and i was already on board with the idea.  

[Paul]

Hey Justinok,

I looked up the TED talk you mentioned. Completely awesome! I recommend others have a look as well.

P xx

[Gruffudd]

To be really honest gender neutral facilities would benefit me greatly, I have never felt safe going into the male ones anywhere. It took a long time to get some of the private schools to become co-educational and the benefit has been huge, there is a balance achieved by having as much diversity in the room as possible and it does make for a safer more inclusive space more often then not. I was thinking about a backpackers I stayed in in Paris where everything was mixed gender, bathrooms the lot. It worked well, the Germans seemed to think segregation a weird idea, and there was a general expectation that people respect each other.