Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Fetish sexuality and mental health

Community Member


I'm in a situation where I have no-one to talk to. A dear friend has confided in me some of their desires some of which are taboo. Before we could talk about it fully we argued via IM and I said some regrettable things, now they have blocked me and are largely ignoring me in common social circles. I'm also struggling with my own desires and self loathing. 

This person was the only person I fully confide in. I'm so sick with guilt. This is on top of 15~ years of poorly treated depression and anxiety that has only recently been looked at as bi-polar. I also suffer ADD that has followed me into adulthood. As a result, I am reasonably emotionally intelligent and articulate. But I am also prone to being emotionally fragile, immature and naive. By immature I mean lacking a fully adult mentality.  

I have no idea if its safe to talk to my Psychiatrist about this, I don't want anyone to get in trouble. Id rather talk it out with my friend because it would be good for both of us. I have had a chance to apologize in person but the response was something like 'This isnt the place for that, its a party'. Sadly if he remains silent to me for much longer I will have to find a someone to talk to about it because since that event I've barely left the house and have been an emotional wreck. I can't imagine what would have happened had I not started medication a few months before all this.

How to get access to a mental health professional that is sex positive regarding fetishes?

3 Replies 3

Community Member

Hey mate, I think maybe the first thing for you to do is take a step back and ask yourself if any of the things you're talking about are illegal. 

If not, then you have nothing to feel guilty about. Human sexuality is very broad, and it's not too hard to find a psych or counsellor that is sex positive. Don't know whereabouts you are in the country but you can usually find good ones via your local AIDS org or gay mens health centre, just do a google search. 

Community Member

well well, 3treefrogs you have brought up a very interesting post, and one i don't have the answers for but can give you some thoughts.

as far as talking to psychiatrist or counselor, my thought would be that if you cant who are you going to talk to, these people have studied very hard and you may be surprised that they might have dealt with the same subject matter on numerous occasions with people in your same or similar circumstance, so why not talk to them,isn't there a policy of confidentiality? But as JustinOK said beware of the legalities and such.

now i don't know what the taboo stuff is, but my question would be, taboo to who? weren't some going to burn Elvis for shaking his hips, and things that are taboo here in Australia might not be elsewhere in the world.

the fact that your conversations with your online friendship/ confidant are strained brings me to remember the similar situation online many years back when i said things i wish i didnt and it was strange there for a while, but after some time it got better and we both simmered down and our freindship continued, a breather can sometimes help after both parties have had time to reflect on things.. but in saying that i have had things go bad as well, so i wish you the best and hope you get back to a good place with your friend and have that support and mutual understanding.

i also think rocking up to the local sexual health center might be a good idea in regards to talking about the taboo stuff, from my experience people there are very helpful and can refer you to the right people, and they are down with youngsters and the hip cool gang in regards to the stuff that is going on, eg nothing will surprise them.


best of luck

Thanks Justin and Dane for the replies.