Hi, welcome
It is hard, dating/falling in love, out of love and all that comes with it. In fact I couldnt wait to find the right one so I didnt have to go through all that stuff.
However, is it so that you are being too hard on yourself which can have ramifications like leading to lower self esteem and confidence. Perhaps you are hesitating and you expect yourself to do all the chasing? Perhaps you arent taking the better approach- I'll explain.
If you thought processes were different, it might go like this- "Well we kissed but I know that just kissing isnt love and that love is a bunch of other stuff as well that I can only gain knowledge of over the medium term, like moods, hobbies, likes and dislikes, boundaries, things in common, tolerances, lifelong ambitions. It's only when all those factors fall into place that I could fall in love." That is more realistic and in fact you are likely at a fantasy point that used to be called "puppy love" where the adrenalin kicks in. Nothing wrong with that but when it happens from then on if you dont hold back a bit you are going to become a victim of hurt.
The other thing is that it might be a good thing that this person you adore is dating your friend, let them go because she will grow, mature and find out what she really wants in a lover. If it is meant to be you then she will chase you like you her. If there is no chasing eg calls and taxts to you not only you to her, then its not 2 way, that isnt good.
Finally- spread your wings. Date others or expand your interests in people because the more you meet others the more chance there is of finding that "right" person for you.
So chill, there is always a better way of thinking because love emotions takes the logic away and logic makes moire sense.
Good luck, thankyou for posting and keep up your efforts to find that ideal person, well done
TonyWK
