Bisexual Support

[licibakes]

Hi, I am a 16 year old female and in the past year, I have discovered i am bisexual. I have fully accepted that as a part of my life but I am so scared to come out to my family and friends. I know most of them will 100% support me but my father is homophobic so I am worried to tell him. I also don’t know how to do it as I don’t feel comfortable sitting them down to talk about it or just telling them. I have tried to drop hints like saying there is girls I like but they just take it as me thinking they are pretty. I just want everyone to know and accept me but I know there is going to be people who will judge me, especially since I go to a very catholic high school. I would love if others could tell me their stories of coming out, or some advice if they have gone through a similar situation.

[Alexlisa]

Hello licibakes,

Welcome to the forums. I’m glad you’ve reached out here, it’s a brave thing to do.

I came out as gay when I was in high school, though it was a while ago. It was tough and there were a lot of different responses, but acceptance has generally improved a lot since then, so I’m not sure how relevant my own story is.

The main thing that helped me immensely was having support from the gay community in that time. When I was 17 I started to go to a gay youth group run by the government and it was so fantastic to meet other people just like me. We got to share our stories and struggles and were able to socialise.

There are organisations for gay youth all over Australia. I would start by having a look at twenty10.org.au They are a fantastic gay/lesbian/bisexual youth organisation that have tonnes of information but would also be able to tell you about organisations in your area.

There is also the website qlife.org.au which has an all ages online chat that offers counselling, info and referrals to other services in your area. They also have a phone helpline on 1800 184 527.

Having these kinds of supports were so useful to me. I was very worried about telling people I was gay, and it’s true that you’ll likely get some resistance. It’s not an easy decision to make about how to do it and who to tell. Something to remember is that you can wait until you’re ready and only tell those you trust if that’s what you think is best for you. But please think about reaching out to one of the organisations- you don’t need to do this alone.

I wish you luck and continued bravery.

Alexlisa

[MsPurple]

HI Licibate and welcome to the forums 🙂

Alexlisa gave some great advice. Some of which I was going to suggest (such as twenty10) so I try not repeat them. Another online/in person rescource you could also look into is headspace. It is a youth mental health service and it is free. They are LGBT+ friendly and see a lot of people from this community (myself included). I found it really helpful for myself. They have various centres around Australia as well as an online support. Go to www.headspace.org.au for more info

I myself am also bisexual. It took me till 23 to accept this of myself. I actually talked to my counsellor at headspace about it who helped me accept it. It took me a while to come out. I also decided I didn't need to go to everyone saying 'I'm bisexual'. The only person I really told point blank was my mum and bestie. My step mum asked me because of the hints I left. And others I just bought up in casual conversation. I haven't had an official coming out, but majority of people know. Coming out is very personal and there is no wrong way of doing it.

I want to make sure that if you do come out while living at home is that you will be safe. If you are worried that you will be kicked out of the home with no where to go then I would encourage you to wait to come out to your dad. Hopefully you can do it is whenever comfortable at no risk to your living situation, but I have heard of others not having this.

It can be scary coming out. Really for many just telling people something personal about yourself is scary (even if not coming out). You need to do it in a way that you feel comfortable and when you feel completely ready. I know this may not be exactly what you want to hear. There is no one way to come out, (sometimes I wish there was). I know majority of people will be supportive, but try be prepared for everyone to not be 100% supportive. I know many religious people that are 100% suppotive and some that are not. They still love me the same however they are scared about going to hell, I never take this personally.

Hope this has been helpful. I am glad you have discovered yourself and accpeted yourself for who you are. This alone can take years 🙂

Welcome to the forums. MsP 🙂

[Blueblubber35]

Hi licibakes,

I'm not sure if I will be of any use but hopefully you can relate to some things stated here.

Last year, I slowly realised that I am bisexual when I started to find some female class mates and workmates attractive and for a while, I was in denial because my whole life up until then all my crushes have been boys. For me, I had to tell someone because if I didn't I wasnt being truthful to them and to myself. In my experience, my friend was very supportive and understood how I was feeling because she is pansexual. Others weren't really surprised because they were also bisexual, so I felt relief and happiness

However, none of my family members know because I'm also afraid of telling my family, because their knowledge is lacking about bisexuals and therefore their views on them makes me feel reluctant to come out to them.

This decision to come out is entirely up to you and how comfortable you are to do so. Please don't feel rushed to do this, as this is often a difficult decision and when you do come out, remember that there is nothing wrong with you and that sexuality is a part of you. You don't owe them an explanation of why you are bisexual nor should you ever feel like you owe them an explanation.

I hope you will post regularly about what is going on because we care about your wellbeing and your overall health.