I'm a middle aged mother of two school aged children. I recently found content/downloands on my husbands computer by accident of school girls in private school uniform from leading private girls schools in our City. There are over 50 or 60 downloaded photos from the private sc schools. Although no Child Pornography on computer there is a lot of adult pornography links saved in bookmarks along with the downloads of school girls ranging in age from Kindergarten through to Senior years and only has private school girl photos. ie not from boys or co-ed private schools. The images have been filed in his computer with code names etc. Although innocent enough if there were a few - there are just fairly excessive given that they are tied up with Pornographic adult websites on comp as well. These girls are my childrens ages so I am sure their parents would be horrified if they knew this. We don't know the girls but they are just photos taken perhaps by the inhouse school photographer of girls in uniform on their school grounds. Around 6 or 8 private schools were targeted within our city.
It has affected me so much for some reason. I did confront my husband about it and said I came across some downloads of these images but he became so frighteningly angry that I was a "snoop" and bullied me into believing that I had done something wrong by using his computer. He has since deleted all the evidence although I have proof still as I made sure of this. When he became angry I backed down and did not demand for an answer as to why he had them. In the meantime I rang a domestic violence talk line and they ended up reporting it to Child Protection Services (they had my details/phone number from a past violent incident involving one of my children with their father). The Child Protection rang me the next day and visited me to chat to me about whether or not there was a child protection issue within our house. They felt it was not appropriate to question my husband about why he had images of such despite being extremely alarming and bizarre. After a 2 hour visit in my home when my husband was at work they felt they cant approach him about it due to safety issues.
I am now beside myself if my husband finds out that all these people know - he is going to hit the roof. I'm so scared I can't cope.
Sons loyalty to him, unconditional love or god how to say, ok gotta put it out there is it possible hubbies got something over him or threatened to hurt sister you or him. How's their relationship apart from previous domestics, I know violence once has
He's caught out so he wouldn't want to be attracting attention to himself (violence to son, police involvement or child protection service coming back)
When/if you leave you could
Think it could be Salvos connected with DV so when I find out I"ll let you know, might be able to anonymously get more info which for now I'd be gathering as much as you can discreetly (you're clued up so you'd know that) putting protection in place, organising somewhere to go before talking to him again
He's lied. You know as fact.
I'd be keeping a very close eye on your PC, do you know how to make it impossible for him to retrieve history
Lawyer? At this
Do you have a good GP, if you can get
How olds Daughter and how's she going
Sorry untold questions, wondering if son looks up to anyone who could help you to convince him
My heart truly goes out to you Worried please don't doubt yourself you're doing everything right by your children but look after yourself to be able to continue being an amazing person & mother
You're welcome Worried, while I think of it if for any reason I'm not here I'll get back when I can so if you continue talking it bumps this & others might come in too & I can catch up.
Possible Child Protection (Bloody better be) are in the background looking into this. I guess at this point it might be in your favor that they haven't acted on it to give you breathing space to work out the best outcome for you & the kids.
The following thread is new so more numbers being added I'm working on DV & Woman's Shelters but not sure when but I'll try for today for shelters.
HELPFUL numbers, Threads, Apps & Internet sites. Quick forum reference-in Depression section.
Domestic Violence Hotlines & Contact Numbers Australia | White Ribbon
White Ribbon is a DV for women
Find domestic violence hotlines. If you have experienced sexual assault, domestic or family violence, call 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 (24/7 counseling
Is there anything I can do for you? don't hold back if I can't I'll try & get something sorted.
Does he/has hit you?
I've been thinking hard about this comment because I don't want to add to your stress but we need to cover every angle. First believe me when I say it's very clear you're an awesome mother
If no action taken moreso daughter in later yrs might have resentment towards you. Sorry
Oh darl it's an incredibly hard situation, heartbreaking knowing what you're going through & the kids at this bloody age.
Truly sorry for your dilemma
Look after yourself Worried
Salvation Army (02) 6742 0540 big
Link2Home 1800152152 -NSW crisis accommodation & referrals
Hope you get some good sleep nigh night