Wife is cheating on me again & refuses to admit it until i prove i know

[Bob Robert]

Not first time, reoccurring in the 10 years we've been together. It stops when i call her out on it, but until i prove it she is in total denial. She doesn't realize that i know her so well that i can tell. She suffers from depression & anxiety & severe body image issues & often goes on chat sites to find other guys to flirt with her & give her the attention that she brushes off from me. Occasionally she finds one that she gets close to. They start to send each other pics (i have photos of the latest naked from behind & shots of her posing naked with strategic covering & so many cleavage shots, none of which were meant for me) & texting at all hours. She's used Skype & KiK, logging off so i can't see what shes up to after catching her before. This time she's just texting him & deleting them. She's seeing a new doctor who has her on antidepressants & a bunch of other things to help all her issues. Yesterday she starts off the day telling me how much she appreciates my help & unwavering support & that she couldn't cope with everything without me... She then made up a story of going to movies & lunch with work friends. She didn't think of our find friends app that shows me her location. She was around where she said she'd be, but in a park half the day, then she turned off her location hoping to not give her away when she later tells me she was shopping up & down the place with the girls from work... 9 hours she was out, on the 1 day of the week we get to spend the whole day together. I had to call her when i hadn't heard from her for hours & location was off. She sounded annoyed. Soon after she called back to say she was leaving. She got home all cheerful & went to the toilet. I checked her phone. There was 3 texts from him. There was also 3 pics of them in the back of his car, kissing. I went to the toilet when she got out, she could see i'd read the texts, she deleted them & the pics & came to check on me, clearly feeling guilty. I played dumb waiting for her to tell me. She keeps asking me how im feeling (I had been depressed for the last 2 days & just told her i wasn't feeling well) & trying to act like nothing had happened, though i guess i was too... The reason she's seeing a new doctor to get healthier is because we want children. How can i have kids with someone who is constantly looking for someone else & is such a mess that they possibly can't function without me looking after her? I don't know what to do & just feel helpless & miserable.

[manoody92]

Hi Bob,

Firstly, I'm really sorry that this is happening to you.

You sound like you've been very supportive over the years and don't deserve this sort of treatment from your wife.

I know you are fed up, but I think your wife needs some professional help. What she is doing isn't normal behaviour. Perhaps you could suggest this to her. I know you are feeling terrible right now but do you think she still loves you and maybe has a problem? Or is just giving up on your relationship because she doesn't care anymore? Either way, I think professional help is the best option here.

I know its hard, but try to stay calm. All the best.

[GemAndLogan]

Hi Bob Robert,

I just wanted to say that I'm heartbroken for you and in my opinion you deserve better from your wife

As others have said , the decision to leave or stay is entirely yours.

People can and do change but only if they are committed 100% to doing so and I hate to say it but if your wife didn't even say anything when you interrupted her on a date then one definitely has to question her commitment to your relationship.

I'm sorry to be blunt but if she refuses to go to couples counselling, refuses to be honest about her behavior and how much it hurts you then the decision might be already made for you.

You deserve better Bob.

Please take care of yourself, I know drinking can seem like its helping but it really doesn't make things better. Do you have any hobbies or things you like to do? Maybe doing something you enjoy can take your mind off whats happening without the drink.

Please take care

Gem