Why does a person never admit to things?

[Guest_1584]

High people.

My gf/partner in 3 yrs has never taken responsibility, owned or acknowledged anything not even when it's something she'll do often. Yet, has what she calls truths and no problem at all in saying and very bluntly to l might add, anything she thinks about something l've done or that l do . She might even do the same but that's either all ok for her that's different, or she'd just never admit to it and get all hurt that l should even suggest such a thing.

She's mostly a very loving and extremely caring person , incredibly so actually and she'll also happily do anything for you she can and is extremely supportive, above herself if need be. But where as she also has absolutely no problem at all in handing out complaints or asking me to change something l do or a habit , or even a need that is just me. Heaven forbid though l might have a complaint, that's taken in tears and as a direct hit on her character. What is that ?

She won't change or alter anything she does , not even a simple thing like one morning in bed she wouldn't even turn the light off at 7am when she woke up and wanted to do something on the pc. l mean this is just a very small thing there's far far bigger and more important things but even to this one tiny little thing as an example. l'm not a morng person and l hate light at the best of times let alone 7am and while l'm still asleep, she knows that, yet she refused point blank, she just did. She didn't even need the light on she was only reading and there was already morning light coming in.She won't change or compromise anything she does, nor even admit to it. Yet l often wake up early so l'll get up so as l don't wake her and go out to the lounge or somewhere, especially if l want to pc or she'll complain she can't sleep , let alone l turn the br light on .

Thing is that's her attitude with anything her, what is that, entitlement or what ? How do you handle things like that in a person, especially when they have absolutely no qualms whatsoever in the reverse? l mean you'll see stuff like this in an obviously arrogant self centered type , but not usually in someone as caring as what she is otherwise.

rx

[CMF]

Hi all,

Hanna you make a good point about relationships being challenging. I do wonder, when do the small things become big things?

[Guest_1584]

Haaa, l like some windows open to. It could be snowing but l'd still need air.

Big point cm , small nothing issues can grow for sure. Don't think it's even possible to have no challenges in a relationship , or l might be bored if l did haha. But eh, too many or the wrong ones is another matter altogether isn't it and it depends on what it is.

[quirkywords]

Randomx

What a relatable thread.

There was a radio segment called What I live with where partners could talk about annoying habits of their partner they life with.

I agree with randomx. and CMF that small issues can grow 8not big ones.

This is a small thing that annoys me each tin3 it happens.
Partner demands I drop everything even if I am busy, to show me something.

Yet when I want to tell him something he says he is too busy and needs to concentrate.

When I write it out it seems so trivial but it makes me feel ignored .

I think it really is up to the person who feels something us annoying to work out , if it is worthwhile rocking the boat.

[Guest_1584]

Hi quirk.

Haaa yeah that's funny , probably not to you though but l get the same.

l haven't really given any examples much but what your saying is another one.Some l don't really want to get into but other smaller things like the light yeah , that if l was to do she'd be real peeved.

Talking about her in general though here has reminded me that it probably isn't an arrogance or double standard though with her as such. l've always known she doesn't see herself too well , and l think tbh it's more along lines of something like that

rx

[geoff]

Hello RX, guilt has always been a problem why people don't admit to what they've done or because they want to beat another person in wanting to be the hero.

Geoff.

[quirkywords]

Randomx

I like your insights into your own and gf behaviour.

I know I sometimes put my interpretation into my partners behaviour.

I used to think I was being ignored then I realised he couldn’t hear me as his hearing is declining.
thanks again for this thread

[CMF]

Hi all,

Very valid points here. Quirky, I love this thought;

"I know I sometimes put my interpretation into my partners behaviour."

I do this ALL THE TIME.

I guess we don't always know how someone else thinks or their reasoning.

Geoff, absolutely agree. If we admit our faults we then have to own them, acknowledge our errors. I do this all the time too. I like to acknowledge my faults so I can grow as a person.

Cmf

[Guest_1584]

Hi quirk , and thanks for the reply . No thx needed for the thread though l didn't really expect any interest tbh and l feel a little weird about it anyway as l've already banged on quite a bit in another thread. But insights yeah , l see people, she wouldn't believe what l see it's funny really bc a lot of the time she doesn't even realize herself. She's funny like that, as intuitive as she is in other ways and other people , she doesn't really see herself, it's an odd mix. Your partners hearing eh , yeah l've been deaf in one ear most of my life and while some people l hear no problem others not so well , and l'll miss things if l just haven't heard them. People still ask me to this day, whisch sides your deaf ear again , cracks me up really. l usually park people on the good side haha.

Hi again Geoff , l agree confidence is a thing sometimes, or regaining it as you mentioned earlier and a part of it with her past n ex. People unintentionally sometimes choose the wrong time and things to stand up for themselves when they get like that hence it maybe coming out in a one sided way with me sometimes l have noticed some of that and see where it's come from with her.

One example she loves wearing my clothes round the house but it's also a statement. l hate it l'm 6'1 she's 5'3 and petite and she looks gorgeous in her own stuff but of course mine are mens clothes all rolled up, falling off her and look ridiculous, she says they're comfy. Her ex was always telling her what to wear you see so now lucky me l get the pay back haha.Mind you, at least she looks great when she goes out though and at least she's not out doing the garden nude anymore like when we first met ahhh , things were a little different in her country haha.

Hiya cm. Yeah ummmm, that one's pretty common with women , l don't go out with men so l don't know it might be common with men vise versa to don't know. But it's very annoying when she's a mile of .

l don't mind admitting my stuff either the Gods know l'm far enough from perfect that's for sure.

rx

[geoff]

Hello CMF, Quirky and RX, unfortunayely not everyone admits to their fauls and what this means is that they won't learn to be a better person.

They don't necessarily have to admit it to other people, although this certainly does help them, but then they might have to face an injustice, however, we all make mistakes, and that's how we learn and no one is perfect.

Best ishes.

Geoff.

[Guest_1584]

Hi Geoff and yeah know what you mean. Some people won't admit to something, pride or whatever , but you notice they did take it in none the less and try to make some changes . My gf is a lot that way actually, even with my clothes thing she slowed right off with all that later, but never acknowledged it and that was ok l understood. lt wasn't about me but all about dressing down and the opposite to her ex telling her everyday to dress up.

A lot of her stuff in that way comes from her ex as he was abusive but she has slowly let go of it all with me bit by bit which is beautiful to see.

rx