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Why do other females treat me poorly?

PsychedelicFur
Community Member

Hello there,

I have attempted to browse through the Internet for this question. I’m afraid I did not even receive an example or the answer that I’d hope to look for. perhaps someone here can provide me with an answer?

here goes ...

Just recently I have noticed other women, particularly younger females treat me differently to how they treat their friends. I’m a flamboyant person who is perhaps a little unusual with my eccentric and colourful dress sense. They stare without saying anything, they ignore me or even sometimes tease me.
there was a girl I use to study with who was nice to every other female student but quite disrespectful to me. She would constantly stare, bully me at times and be quite condescending. Everywhere else I go though people seem to be understanding and lovely about my individuality. They smile and compliment me on my style and clothes. Just a selected few of these females I work and study with who seem to just treat me differently to everyone else. Are they envious of me? Are they intimidated by my individuality? Or are they just being disrespectful for the sake of it?
I have been told in the past that people are intimidated by unique individuals who dress, think differently and really express who they are. However I find that hard to believe. For me, all I do is wear what reflects how I feel.. why can’t other people do that? If they hate me for being myself why can’t they just be who they want to be? Forget about societies norm!

I would really appreciate an answer.

signed,

PF.

5 Replies 5

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Psychedelic fur,

Thanks for this interesting question.

I think you have answered it already.

It is their problem and they may have trouble coping with people like you who can express themselves freely. Some people just want to fit and and copy others and if that works for them that is good.

As you say most people are respectful and appreciate the way you dress.

I wonder as you feel confident to wear what reflects how you feel , does it matter what other people think or say?

As I said that is their problem. Be who you are. .

Quirky

Hello Quirky,

Good to hear from you again. Hope you are doing well.

You are speaking wisdom. It is not that I care what they think of me. I just think respect is something that should be a basic necessity. Just because me and millions of others dress or act a little differently doesn’t mean that we don’t want or look for respect from others.
under the surface I try my hardest to respect those who treat me well.

it doesn’t take much to be a good person.

thank you for your insightful response. Like I said before you are speaking wisdom. People are so judgemental. At the end of the day it should be who the person is under the surface, instead it’s how they look or behave.

psychedelicfur.

Hi PsychedelicFur,

Thank you for your question! It certainly doesn't seem like an easy one to answer though, but I will give it a try -

If you can bear with me in psychobabble talk - in ancestor times, we were built and raised to be the same, or as similar as possible. The way we acted, the way we dressed (not that there was much choice back then!), the way we talked, interacted - it all had to be the same so that we could fit in. This was part of our survival.

Of course now, we have so much freedom to dress and act the way we like - but there's still a small part of our brain that's 'back there in those times'. It's the same reason why if I see someone with a distinct outfit, I'll look - or even a visually disabled person - I'll look. But, there's a difference of course between looking and staring, and plain disrespect.

The way we are brought up now and our cultures determines the difference between a look and a stare, or a compliment vs an insult. There are so so many layers to that and it's not quite as clear cut as being intimidated. Fortunately though, the more differences that we have in our culture, the more that can become the norm - so more people feel free to be who they are.

Whatever the case, I'm glad that these comments don't get to you personally! I'm now personally curious how you dress since I dress in black white and grey haha 🙂

RT

Hello there RT,

thank you for your thought provoking and very insightful response.
I do appreciate it. Even when I was little girls would not really let me hang out with them. I wasn’t really part of the “In crowd” so to speak. I did have a handful of friends but when there were better options they went away. I’ve always just been amused by different things. Cars, music, clothes, writing, drawing etc.

I did however have a lot of male friends throughout my younger years, still very much do.
most girls just don’t want to associate with me.., perhaps I’m far too unusual for their liking! Haha.

you do have a few points though.
thank you,

PF.
Catcha round on the flipside!

RT,

oh yes.. and as for the clothes I am extremely colourful and quirky. Lots of accessories. Inspired a lot by Kate Bush, Janis Joplin, Cass Elliot, Cyndi Lauper etc. heavily inspired by good music. Love glam rock and psychedelia. The Sweet, Skyhooks, Sherbet, Boney M, ABBA, Alvin Stardust.. Lol. Lots of platforms.