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WHY do I attract losers?!

bellaheart
Community Member

Hi

I am here to vent! I hope that is ok?

I hooked up with a guy last Easter. That was all it was meant to be! He has no job, no licence, no car, no friends, no pets, no kids.....nothing other than a horrid ex housing trust house that he owns...oh and his obsession with playing his guitar (very badly I might add).

Meanwhile I am a successful woman with a great job and a lovely house and a darling child. I know...I can see it already just typing this! He very quickly infiltrated my life....he would never meet my friends...I never met his (as he doesn't have any)....I think all he does all day is play his guitar and play with himself?! He got angry right off that I was on RSVP....omg that was my red flag that I IGNORED?!

Long story short I dumped him many a time and he would keep crawling back....it got to the point where I couldn't stand his bogan way of speaking and his constant interruptions and condescending manner (whenever I was driving somewhere he would act like the back seat driver...he has never even driven a car?? He is 41??).

Yesterday I finally found the guts to dump him 100%. He had been ridiculing my son and nobody does that! He was coming over here; getting lovely meals (and his rocks off; which incidentally I NEVER did?!)..I spent hours (of my rare free time) working on his cv etc as he was apparently applying for jobs on Monday. I asked him Monday pm how the job apps went..he replied "I didn't do that I have been working on a new song"?!

The appalling thing is that he texted me saying he has been totally miserable since seeing me?! I told him 'I would be miserable too if I had nothing to do all day'!! I know this may all sound really asinine but I am so furious..at myself! For tolerating him for even five minutes! I am on medication for anxiety as I have had a very traumatic life...this whole thing just makes me so mad at myself!! He is not the first guy I have wasted time on...my history is full of them!!

I will not let this guy make me feel bad. I just don't get why these these type of guys all flock to me 😞 I am a very caring and compassionate person (maybe that is why?) when it comes to children and animals! Not so called 'men' in their forties who are obviously lacking in every aspect???

 

 

sorry for the rant

 

BH

 

 

 

18 Replies 18

bellaheart
Community Member

Thanks dear CMF

cyberhugs coming your way xx

BH

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

BH,

I hope you stick around but of course that is totally up to you, no pressure whatsoever. Stuff happens sometimes but the rest of us are pretty caring and understanding. I'm a single mum too, I know how hard it can be but yes, you are stronger than you think and you're a damn good mum too!

i do hope you feel secure enough to stick around. I'm sending hugs right back at you πŸ€—

cmf x

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear BH~

Like CMF, Paul and PamelaR I would be sorry to see you go as the result of some random silly person. I don’t believe you were singled out for attention, while obviously I do not know the motivation I’d suspect the person involved most likely was unhappy with the Forum and their life in general.

I think you are both wise and humanitarian to try to scrape up some empathy for the person, I think it is probably the best way to handle the matter.

Croix

Hi Bella, can I please welcome you and hope you realise that we do care about you. Geoff.

PamelaR
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Welcome Bellaheart. So pleased to see you going to stay around.

Virtual hugs to you too!!

PamelaR

Hey Bella

Just seeing how you are going. I hope you are doing okay and can stick around the forums if you wish to πŸ™‚

Thankyou for your patience and TLC

My kind thoughts always

Paul

Hi to all of you wonderful people

Thankyou so much your support and encouragement! I don't have time to answer you all singularly hence this post. I am ok; thanks to you dear people. There are a lot of other things going on in my life which I will post about in other categories...nothing is easy right now but having you behind me truly helps an enormous amount.

BH

bellaheart
Community Member

Dear Geoff

Thankyou; you are a sweet kind man...and I love your darling doggy! My two rescue dogs are a massive positive influence in my life...I simply adore them and they always make me laugh! Please give your darling furbaby a big hug from me.

BH

Hi, Bella, thank you so very much, it's always great to get such lovely comments back to you, I think that's what makes our day. Geoff.