What does this mean , wth is wrong with me, is anyone else like this ? l need so much space.

[Guest_1584]

Hi bb .

Really hoping for some insight and feedback here because l can't afford to see someone.

My partner is down again from her city , been down a few wks now and can stay indefinitely right now as she's had legal business up home but it looks like that could be done for at least this yr now.

We've always lived really well together she's easy to be around , does nothing to make me the way l am no one ever has really although my ex w def' use to get a bit much which also made me head for solitude but at least there was a reason . Thing is , with my partner bow , friends or people around , even my daughter , l just become in desperate need alone time after awhile. lt doresn't matter who it is or how much l enjoy them around , l can only take so much of it but then l just have to get away for some time to myself.

My partner doesn't understand how l'm like this or why and she does nothing to bring it on , being around anyone after a certain amount of time just does and if l don go off and hide out alone for awhile l just gt exhausted and in filthy moods.. l'm talking daily. Even her or say my daughter who is the easiest person you'd get to be around , and she likes her space too , yet even with her.

l mean l'm a fun person and do love some fun and social time , but then ok , l've had enough now l have to go. With my partner if we're both around all day night which l work at home and she only works pt so that's quite often. l'll need a few hours to myself before she gets up , then a few more later in the afternoon and even after that l like if l can get it an hour or so before l go to bed , just alone time. Because although we do sleep beautifully together , l just don't feel like being ion bed bside someone all night without another bit of a break first.

l'm bloody weird , l've always been like this but it is a bit worse now as l'm older and since divorce l've either lived alone or spent a lot of time alone, Wth can't l cope and just enjoy relationships and being with special people like everyone else. My gf can be around me 24 7 , so could my ex w , so can my daughter , wth is wrong with me,

Any feed back appreciated . rx

[Guest_1584]

l won't go on with my d's situation through the forum as it isn't helping and exposing so much publicly is just making me sick to the stomach and tripling worries,

But thanks though for any help and efforts . rx

[Guest_1643]

hey rx thats okay no worries at all

yes i'd absolutely refer to some counsellors as useless... actually the ones that charge the most lol. Is this the way it should be?

Hope you're doing okay and can understand the traumas for ur gf from a divorce. Rebuilding and all that. And if the ex wasn't so lovely that adds extra stress.
Hope ur good

[Guest_1584]

Hita sleepy and thx as always.

But yeah of course l can understand l've lived it too 2 yrs but naturally it's 10x for her , we do our best. lt's a totally different thing to d though we're adults and can look after ourselves so that as hard as it's been for gf , makes a massive difference.

hope your having a nice wkend , beautiful day up here . rx

[Guest_1584]

Unfortunately the main problem being awake all night these days is wth to do.

l use to get carried away on computers and it's mind blowing fast time gets away. butl've got no interest these days , couple, of forums few other bits and pieces kill a few hrs but that;s all the interest l have, trouble sitting through tv even and hr or twoo lately so that's pretty well that too,

Think l'll have to start sleeping again. rx

[ecomama]

Hi rx

Yeah I find that nights, when I have the "wakeys" lol, is a time when my mind goes transit...

I woke with at midnight with a horrible headache, so needed to take some paracetamol.

I'd gone to bed at around 7pm and went out like a light lol.

It'd be nice to portal in and have a cuppa lol (I laugh bec it's probably NOT what you'd like lol)... that's what I'm doing now, having a cup of tea with two dogs at my feet.

The weather here has been absolutely beautiful.
Too hot some days, I find myself complaining less about the cold and more about the heat lol!
Maybe it's age hitting me.

Do you like to read rx?
Or are you able to read books?

I've found when I've been stressed, that I can't read books efficiently at all. My mind is thinking about whatever and my eyes read the words but don't take anything in.

Watching stuff on Netflix has been pretty great company, although ABC iView has been really amazing for me this year.

SO much stuff on MH on ABC, plus my favourite murder mysteries.
Some have got too gruesome for me more recently so I avoid those now.

Others like Midsomer Murders are fun to watch because I love trying to work out in the first few minutes who the killer is.

Though the more I stay awake at night, the less energy I have during the day.

Don't you paint, as in artistically?

EMxxxx

[Guest_1584]

Hey em.

Yeah l use to paint through the night actually but l don't paint much now. Yeah most dyslexics can read anything. l've written plenty of even contracts for example , they just need it set up in odd ways to the norm that's all. But you have limitations, so for example suddenly you just can't see writing or numbers anymore, it comes back next day though. So it's a shame but with computering these days l can't do both because it passes the limit. Really miss books though much prefer paper don't you. Envy people that can read a lot or curl up with books.

Yeah l can't reAd stressed either don't blame ya , l caan movie stressed though , movies are one thing that can really take me away. You like netflix eh yeah it'd be great if someone could find the movies for me thats the problem there can't see the lists and scrolling. Love sbs though.

You get tired eh , lucky you . wish l could sleep 12 hrs a day haha, my gf can man so lucky.

Bloody seasons are funny aren't they , too cold then it's too hot.

rx

[Guest_1643]

hey all

painting sounds soothing and its true with computers time can just go. I've been known to do some interesting things late at night - clean the house, send emails, watch a TED talk... whatever my mind can fix on.
Do you think you'll go back to sleeping? i can imagine it does get boring over time, other times it is nice to stay awke

some people love staying up i guess i can relate to that... space and calm. sometimes a good show which is addictive can be nice at night... just zone out. the worsst thing for me is to think to much at night, guess the thing is if you have a worry or concern there's not much that can be done late at night so feels a little rough...

hope ur good and getting rest and relaxation

[Guest_1584]

Heya sleepy , thanks for that.

Yeah there's been some worry nights for sure l'm actually not bad at switching off worry at night though but like l was sayin it's mainly bad thoughts that's set me back on the roller coaster this time.

l use to mess about on computers or staying up watching movies all night but l'm bored with them these days , so l'm practically twiddling thumbs lately haha.

Painting ahh , when your professional it takes a lot of brain power so nah actually it's not relaxing at all for me tbh. Even though l'm not in it professionally anymore if l was to paint it'd still effect me the same l'm still pretty intense with a canvas in front of me. l'll start sleep training again as soon as l can stop the thoughts bc there's really nothing l feel like doing through the night now so l may as well be sleeping again hey.

How you doin , masks off this week from what l understand too eh , big wow. l'll have to watch some news tomorrow . Hope your enjoying the freedom .

rx

[Guest_1584]

Well at least l got some sleep . l came in from work grabbed a wine jumped onto bed and turn on the pc, my most fav thing to do after work for and hr or too and l'll usually catch a short siesta in that too. All l remember from that today is turning on the pc , next minute l'm waking up and it's 8.30. So l accidentally caught a beautiful deep and solid 4 or 5 hrs there , drawback is l'll be jumping out of my skin all night now,,,, bugger. rx

[Guest_1643]

hey Rx - glad you got that sleep sounds very relaxig and also with the wine a good chance to just restore after working...

Sounds great and good for u!!

There is somthing soothing about a laptop in bed (and netflix and/or chill)

Is it nice to sleep again?

I've not been sleeping well at all, still with the nightmares. I write them down and share with a therapist...Then sometimes feel very resitant to sleep because I hate the nightmares... sometimes I sleep on the couch to "trick" my body that it's not really sleep but now my back hurts so... I think maybe I should stop that!!

Loving the no masks, people seem really happy now and I feel less stifled. I am now around people more because of less restrictions so that's weird... wearing the masks indoors and having hours conversation, it gets more annoying. before I wasn't leaving the house much so it was just a few minutes while picking things up. Still great to have some freedom.

Gosh the sleep thing is a tricky one to get that balance right, hope you do get some sleep when u need it. Do u get tired? Guess everyone's got a diff energy level without sleep. Some ppl do pretty well with very little which is magic.