What does this mean , wth is wrong with me, is anyone else like this ? l need so much space.

[Guest_1584]

Hi bb .

Really hoping for some insight and feedback here because l can't afford to see someone.

My partner is down again from her city , been down a few wks now and can stay indefinitely right now as she's had legal business up home but it looks like that could be done for at least this yr now.

We've always lived really well together she's easy to be around , does nothing to make me the way l am no one ever has really although my ex w def' use to get a bit much which also made me head for solitude but at least there was a reason . Thing is , with my partner bow , friends or people around , even my daughter , l just become in desperate need alone time after awhile. lt doresn't matter who it is or how much l enjoy them around , l can only take so much of it but then l just have to get away for some time to myself.

My partner doesn't understand how l'm like this or why and she does nothing to bring it on , being around anyone after a certain amount of time just does and if l don go off and hide out alone for awhile l just gt exhausted and in filthy moods.. l'm talking daily. Even her or say my daughter who is the easiest person you'd get to be around , and she likes her space too , yet even with her.

l mean l'm a fun person and do love some fun and social time , but then ok , l've had enough now l have to go. With my partner if we're both around all day night which l work at home and she only works pt so that's quite often. l'll need a few hours to myself before she gets up , then a few more later in the afternoon and even after that l like if l can get it an hour or so before l go to bed , just alone time. Because although we do sleep beautifully together , l just don't feel like being ion bed bside someone all night without another bit of a break first.

l'm bloody weird , l've always been like this but it is a bit worse now as l'm older and since divorce l've either lived alone or spent a lot of time alone, Wth can't l cope and just enjoy relationships and being with special people like everyone else. My gf can be around me 24 7 , so could my ex w , so can my daughter , wth is wrong with me,

Any feed back appreciated . rx

[Guest_1643]

hey rx

sounds very therapeutic and healing - we all have our zone out things maybe... i heard some people find baking like that - just immerse themselves in it. Big decisions time? I feel you... these days are all big decisions.
I'm meant to go back to work soon which will be very very normal... crazy isn't it how things have changed in a month. the only constant is the masks... other than that verything is so normal.
I never forget to wear it anymore it's total second nature.

I'm glad you can nap during the day - when i couldn't sleep at all I couldn't even nap during the day. That means that at least the body gets its charge. As long as it gets it sometime its good 🙂

In hospital they went through foods that aid with sleep but they were all a bit wacky - but since you asked about food lol... they said kiwi fruits (?) and sour/tart cherry juice ( a very weird drink... seems to have melatonin in it?!)... and people always say milk... but none of this has any effect on me whatsoever.... maybe i'm too cynical.

Thank those lovely trees are in my garden 🙂 we love it!! I hope you get some sleep and thinking time...

[Guest_1584]

hey sleepy , thanks for that. Well milks so easy isn't it and has the bonus for me in filling the tummy a bit too bc any hunger also keeps me awake. But nah, they don't sound whacky at all , just a bit tame that's all. l'll need something with a bit more punch, like a good glass of red. l'm not doing that atm though bc l'll sleep but it also dehydrates you through the night and you'll sometimes wake up feeling like shyt .

Gf left me sleeping pills , l've only taken one in my life. But right now not a good idea bc if l dream l'll be too drugged to wake myself up so l'm trying to hold back on those too. but yep got an hour today again with an arvo siesta so at least that was something.

So not back at work yet huh , man whata crazy year or what . But yeah it is amazing went into our main town yesterday and it was busier than it's been in 8mths. l mean we've had no cases much but minor restrictions , things fairly normal though , not quite. But yeah Melbourne was set free what just on the wkend and we already have1000s of extra people up here now. l don't understand it it's not holiday time yet. Tbh , l found it pretty annoying yesterday , just too busy again now.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Ps , your trees are in your garden , beautiful . Mine are from just behind Apollo Bay.

[Guest_1584]

lf l don't start sleeping again soon my 12mths of sleep training's gonna be completely undone. Thing is, not even sure if that's a bad thing just this last day or 2 feel better than ever my works are reverting back to my all night days. Still jumping full of beans 2-3 am the last night or 2 , and tonight , felt great through the days back to full of energy - hth does that work. Though it's only 11 tonight but before l was yawning my brains out at 10 or 11 .

Must admit l'm really starting to enjoy the more awake time again too and the nights again like l use too. Gonna have to do some more research on all this , can't even remember the last batch l did anymore but if l'm back to feeling fulla beans- what's the problem, yaknow ? Soooooo, l'll try to find out if there even if one in that case.

rx

ps, then again , this lifestyle also works just fine living on your own but if your with a partner it gets a bit tricky bc the poor thing ends up practically sleeping alone . Ha, back to the drawing board .

[Guest_1584]

Anxiety setting in , as my gf says , never peace.

My daughters having major problems atm , just breaks your heart. Andddd, gf is going cranky , she always does when she goes back but this time's an exception and very hard for her, and l have no idea wth she's do when she gets like this up home. Just to ice the cake, rx

[Guest_1643]

Hey rx sorry the distance thing is being hard for u and gf. Is she stressed about all the traveling?
Heart breaks for ur daughter.... so hard being a young perosn today I hate the effect and pressures of social media as I was writing on another thread. I don't think anyone really thought about how intense it would be for young people. I hope she can find a counsellor, I know it would feel like a miracle, as there are so many useless ones out there to be honest. No one really tells you this, do they?
They say, get help. But it's so hard to get help and it can be so draining and disappointing, trying to find someone who truly can help.
I can understand wanting to stay up and feeling a bit lighter at night and just having peace. It's my favourite time to watch movies and shows. Maybe just a way to get a break and relief.

Ps. those trees are truly epic and magical. Great profile pic

[ecomama]

Dear rx

Sorry to hear your daughter and GF are going through some really tough times.

I get it, I really do. It's freaking horrible.

I should see your update in the Social Media thread... it's probably similar to what my youngest D is going through (without the past SA issues I hope!).

And to be absolutely honest, I find that go to comment "hang in there, things will get better" is simply a lie for me.
So I can't say it to them.
I know it's not my MH issues saying this, it's actually true that things may not get better for our young ppl, chances are leaning more towards.... "this shyte is only just beginning for you guys, so you have to get a grounding to power through it, I'm here for you!"

They have to PAY BACK the cost of this pandemic and the costs are increasing.
I know Aust is doing well and I'm so grateful we are... but the burden of everything including the previously known environmental issues are just all on our kids.

Australians will really have to think outside the box to power through financially in the world stage.

IDK the answers but to bring a young person's focus to 'what's within your control and influence'.

Is you GF going through Family Law stuff?
It's going on for a long time, if so, I know the feeling.

Hang in there rx. Your patience with her is worth more than gold at this time.

Love EM

[Guest_1584]

Hiya sleepy .

Thanks very much for the thoughts and funny how you use my words sometimes , before l've even used them myself. l was talking about all that in another thread too and used that exact term , useless. But then l felt really guilty bc most do really wanna help but how hard would that be listening to peoples problems all day , man. How could they even stay sane themselves. We're really hoping she can connect with someone though, ex has been very specific with the ones we have chosen and d tried but so far no luck . given the right person though , it would be a huge help so w;re still hopeful. l eventually found the right people myself back when can happen buttttt, as ya know, well.

Anyway yep we've found a few and manage to talk her into it but so far not much luck. Poor buggers had a yr from bloody hell , and it was suppose to be a carefree gap yr after yr 12 ha, so much for that, jezuz. poor thing. Everything from courses to friendships to bf's , heart breaks for her. And yeah, social bloody media - iced the cake and blew it all to bits just to round things off. Your not wrong , l really dunno how kids cope these days saw it all coming when they all got their phones 11-12, yrs ago , we tried our best to low key and ration time butttt, the damn things win in the end then they get older and any chance you did have is out the window then.

gf's sitch ah mannn, that ones an even longer story there's another thread somewhere just on that, She divorced 6 or so yrs ago ago and lifes just been a mess since until we met, She had legal problems visa problems housing problems financial problems all still going on , all from the divorce and it'll be another 18mths of it all now they reckon with covid backlogs but she's can't do jack until the court cases are done. lt's bloody complicated and the stress with all those things, you could imagine. the only peace she has atm is when she's here .

Thanks for that sleep , hope your picking up with the openings of life again there. So true too btw about the nights , love it , the worlds asleep , even the birds, peace still and the glare of the day is all gone . l'm doomed , should've been a vamp eh. have a nice wkend. rx

[Guest_1584]

Hiya em and thanks as always for your care and support.

yaknow , l kinda believe the things get better thing,l'm sorry it hasn't probed that way . for me though l've had it, lifes changed in a heartbeat , quite a few times , huge things have happened over night or next wk. And things do blow over and get sorted and change it's happened to many times for me not to believe it tbh. takes time though and sometimes the slog first,

l think the gov , country, on the covid yr will be fine maybe even better in time but yeah gonna take a few for sure. but yaknow , the old one door closes others open thing can already see it in all kinds of ways even the china stuff wellll, it's about bloody time this stupid country woke up and stopped selling our soul, yaknow. for me, even the so called world stage thing australia's all so try hard about being on, little big man syndrome, yaknow. ;might be selfish but l'm enjoying us having this bit of separation again we should be more like nz and be minding our own damn business imo so me l think it's doing the whole world good in a bizarre kind of way. you know even the oceans are clearing. Italy and parts all over the world have reefs and corals rebuilding and reappearing they haven't seen in decades , just from this tiny break th planet is having- from US !. There's a lot of stuff goin on, even polution is a fraction, wholeeeee nother story.

but yeah , our kids , even that for my d was the beginning , courses went online suddenly the country stopped we were locked up with madness happening and she just got all lost , so sad. and the shock for them of all this , we could only imagine l mean adults can't even fathom it.

l'm depressing myself better sign off.

take care eh. rx

[ecomama]

Hi rx

If we stay in the vein of thoughts and ruminate on them... those things of the past then we can make ourselves feel alot worse.

I've done it myself, esp through all the Courts and NEEDING to remember every tiny little detail of everything for when I was bombarded with questions from all angles... when all I wanted was to SHUT that door down tight, LOCK all that shyte down tight.

"Walk away" with my kids and recover with them.

That was my 3rd divorce.
Shocking the period of "re-invention" over and over again.

But I powered through mostly.

PURELY focussed on the POSITIVE.
I even wrote LISTS all over the place and hung them on the walls lol!
Things we were going to achieve with me at the helm.

It's worked every single time.

But now I'm exhausted. It's ALOT more work this time.

Knowing it'll be a long hard road to get my youngest's MHIs sorted and supporting her.
Whilst supporting all the others as a lone rider lol - single parent to ALL of them.

And the psychs all around me and my Counsellor keep bringing it ALL back to ME.

I HAVE to invest in myself. I've been watching Beyonce clips all morning lol.

If I have to watch Beyonce all day every day I will lol! Between working that is.

Remembering who I AM without all the circumstances around me anywhere.
Just WHO I AM.

Just like your daughter, she's strong and resilient, she's a woman, she HAS TO BE.

Love to her and you
EM