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Was I ever loved?

Community Member

A girl basically attached herself to me an we were really close and she said she loved me and stuff and I was important to her etc then things went downhill and fell apart and as weeks went by she'd get worse mentally and affect our relationship even more. She has depression and anxiety and it's possible she may have a personality disorder. She always seems to change personalities it's like there's a bad and a good in her. Did she really just use me and fake everything or was what I once saw in her genuinely her being a respectful and nice person she is?

Is it just her mental illness that's making her a bad person to me? Is behind that mental illness a genuine nice girl similar to the girl I used to know before things went downhill? Or was everything just all fake I'm confused.

4 Replies 4

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello User, when two people attach themselves to each other, they do so because they get on well together and really like one another, but it's possible that one person may be hiding some type of depression because if this is shown when they first meet, then it's necessarily certain they will connect with each other, that's why it's not shown.

As you begin to become formally acquainted and start to open up with one another, then that's the time she decides to open up with you, which will devastate how you feel for her, as it's most unexpected.

This gives her the opportunity to feel comfortable in displaying how she actually behaves, but it's not her fault the way she is, this illness can change a person from being a lovely, warm person to one who struggles with issues she needs help with and has kept them to herself.

I'm sure deep down she does love you and needs help with her condition, but she has to be diagnosed by a doctor who can then begin the treatment she requires, and people with any type of depression can recover well and live a perfectly normal life and remember all of us have our days where we just want to sit in a room by ourselves, especially when the day isn't going as we had hoped.

If she is under 25 years of age then she can contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 (5 to 25) by phone, webchat or online, but if she requires medication then her doctor/psychiatrist will need to prescribe.

Come back and talk with us.


Community Member
I have regrettably done this to a partner in the past and can confirm that my mental illness sometimes allowed me to be happy with them for months at a time and then it would hit; I’d be as cold and distant with her as I was with everyone else. Maybe give her time.

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello user

thanks for this thread. It must be confusing for you to see two sides of this girl but as Geoff and Bailey have explained that she needs help with er condition.

I too have pushed a loved one away when I was depressed . When I felt down I felt I did not deserve a partner so I pushed him away then felt so lonely as I really need him.

If she can get help it w outdoor enable her to be able to make sense of her emotions.

we are listening if you want to post.

You are a caring person .It is confusing for you as well as the girl.

Community Member

Hi there.

Mental Illness can affect us all on an array of different levels, especially if we have a diagnoses, it can actually makes thigs a lot easier for a partner to manage the care needs of their spouse.

For your situation though, I can imagine that you have thoughts that can be quite uncomfortable and confronting. Try to look after yourself as much as you can to be the best you can every day.