Unsure of how to cope

[Chansy]

My husband and I have been together for 9 yrs and married for 8. We have by no means had a perfect marriage, but things in the last 6 months have been the worst. We have both started drifting apart, while being in eachothers faces. He told me on Friday that he wants to move out, and he doesnt want this anymore. We were meant to be buying a house together, but instead, he has already started planning to buy an apartment. All of my family are overseas, and my friends are supportive, but they cant really do much. I have been crying almost non stop for 3 days. I have a constant knot in my stomach, and I'm not sure how I am meant to cope. I havent known life on my own, or without someone being there all the time for me.
I'm scared, confused and I dont know what to do.

[HappyHelper88]

Hello Chansy thankyou for your post and welcome

I am so sorry to hear what your going through that must be so hard for you, I just want to let you know that it may seem like the end of the world but everything is going to get better in time.
Its even harder that we are all isolated from each other due to covid and lacking support
Its okay to cry and let it all out as a big change is happening for you

I know you are scared but time heals all wounds, after you have grieved (please take as much time as you need) you will start to see the good in life and you can have a fresh start. Dont be scared of starting over again
You will be happy again just give it time

If you want to talk to someone we’re on 1300 22 4636 or you can reach us on webchat here. Please remember to reach out whenever you need to.

You can do this 🙂

[Sophie_M]

Hi Chansy,

This sounds like a really difficult and isolating time. We can imagine how hard it must be going through such a huge change, and all of the feelings associated with the end of a long relationship, while feeling that you don’t have the support of family here. We’re glad you could share this here, as you can see from HappyHelper88's lovely comment, our community will have kindness, advice and understanding for you.

Do you have any friends that you feel able to talk to about this? It sounds like you could really do with talking things through, so please don’t hesitate to give the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors a call on the number HappyHelper88 has shared. You could also look at Relationships Australia to find more options for counselling for yourself, or both of you during this time. There’s also some really good pointers here for staying connected, and finding support through a trying time.

Do you think you could benefit from finding a support group? Our friends over at Black Dog have a directory of support groups for mental health by state, here.

It is wonderful that you have been able to reach out for support here on the forums, it must have been difficult to write this post but you never know who might read it and feel less alone in their own experience. Please keep sharing whenever you feel comfortable to do so.

Kind regards,

Sophie M
 

[Positive_vibes89]

Ending of a marrige is a stressful and difficult time in a person's life. It is a time where you will be experiencing some painful distressing emotions. There are some supports to help you with what you are experiencing.

Family Relationships Advice Line: 1800 050 321

Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277

[jsm1974]

Hi Chansy,

You are definitely not alone. My wife recently told me that she wants to separate as well, and our relationship was pretty sparkly. Also like you, I have almost no support network and am not originally from here. I've been a train wreck for some time now.

However, I want to give you hope. I can say that practicing mindfulness techniques, despite being that hardest things ever at first, are definitely paying off and I'm finally getting to a place where I can make myself and my own well being a priority.

It takes a lot of work and pain, but I hope you know that you will get through this. While the sense of rejection that you're no doubt feeling is telling you the opposite, you're well worth the investment of your time and energy. You definitely don't deserve that kind of treatment, so don't allow yourself to accept that you do.