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Unhappy marriage or the depression.

Community Member

Hello all.

I have depression and lately it has been so bad I feel so unhappy in my marriage. Everything my husband does annoys me, we had sex recently and I cried afterwards because I realised I wasn't happy and it rocks me because he is the most amazing person and Dad it hurts me that I feel like this. Over the past 4 years I have on and off felt like this but not as bad as now. I feel like I could walk away tomorrow and not feel upset about it... Has anyone else experienced this feeling is this how we deal with the black dog push away the closest to us?? Thanks in advance, please no judgement on this thread.

5 Replies 5

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Jennyman, welcome

We wont judge you. We are of the same ilk, we relate and that's why you are here.

Yes, in many cases I've replied to and had experience of, we can indeed push away our loved ones for many reasons.

  • We don't have the patience
  • We are overwhelmed with employment
  • We are burned out
  • We cant cope
  • We are so full of issues it clouds our love
  • they don't really understand

That is some reasons. Depression can disable your mind to such an extent that you feel you no longer love someone but if and when you recover, your love was always there all along.

Then there is a possibility you have fallen out of love. Only you know and you owe it to yourself, and those around you to try and work it out. A good step is your GP for a chat and maybe recommendation for a counselor.

Also read the first page of these threads. Use google

topic: depression and sensitivity, a connection?- beyondblue

Topic: depression and the timing of motivation- beyondblue

Topic: who cares for the carer?- beyondblue

Topic: holidays- beyondblue

topic: inexpensive recovery idea, camping- beyondblue

Topic: the art of listening- beyondblue

You can either do this yourself, try to pursue help via counseling or with your husband.

Tony WK

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
Hi Jennyman, can I also welcome you here and there won't be any judgement at all.

Unfortunately, depression does have the strength to do this to us and as Tony has said the reasons could be many, but deep down its depression causing all the trouble.

It made me push away my family, I did love them, but I wasn't able to cope with their expectations that I was going to be 'fine' and instantly get better, but the dog was holding me back, and had thought about moving out of the house, although no one else knew.

I like what Tony has mentioned especially the point where he says 'We are burned out', that's exactly what happened with me, and to be asked to do something that I loved doing now it was no joy anymore, then how do you try and explain why that's very difficult and you don't even have the energy.

When you feel like this you need help, your doctor would be your first port of call, they will get the ball rolling, diagnose and perhaps prescribe medication for you.

A referral to see a psychologist may also be suggested and if this happens then ask about the mental health plan, this entitles you to 10 free visits.

My best wishes.


Community Member
Thank you Geoff. I was diagnosed yesterday and started medication today my gp said it seems im close to falling into a dark hole so its best to start medication. I agree and relate to everything you mentioned. It's such a horrible feeling being sad and unhappy when you truly feel there is nothing to be sad or unhappy about. Thanks again for your reply.

Thank you for your reply Tony. Yes it is possible - I have a appointment again next week with my gp to disuss a mental health plan I will take up the councilling sessions as I believe my worst problem is the fact I can' express my feelings - im a bottler.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
Hi Jennyman, thanks for getting back to us.

Can I suggest that you write down how you are feeling on a piece of paper so you can hand it over to your GP and if they recommend you seeing a psychologist then also hand it over to them as well.

Please keep the first page you begin to write down what you want to talk about, in other words, don't throw it away because how you write will show them how you are feeling.

You can tidy it up if you want to on another piece of paper, but include the first list and attach it, take photocopies.

This seems to break the ice because when they ask 'what can I do for you' you may have a memory loss, not if it's written down.

All the Best.