Unable to stop crying

Jhc · ‎14-12-2019

Hi, my partner of two years who I love so much has broken up with me this week. Two months ago, out of the blue he told me he wasn't happy. We met in another State to where I live. When we met it was like a film, romantic and perfect. After calling and messaging each other for months he then drove from one side of the country to the other to move in with me. He got a job here and seemed happy. I thought we were happy. We talked about and made plans for the future. I met him when I was 48. I felt so lucky to meet him and felt it was meant to be. Neither of us had children or previous relationship baggage. We shared many goals and values. Then out of nowhere he told me he wasn't happy and his feelings for me had changed. He wanted to go back home and see how he felt but didn't want to break up. I was away for work for two weeks and he told me he would wait until I got home. But at the airport he messaged me to say he had already left because it was 'easier for him'. It broke my heart. I came home to an empty apartment with all trace of him removed. Then the next week he called to tell me it was over. Like so many others here on the forum I can't understand how he can just switch off. Only two weeks before he first told me he was unhappy he had pointed to an old couple holding hands and said that will be us one day. I've been through relationship breakups before but at the time I knew that person wasn't right for me. But this time I just feel so incredibly sad and empty that he is gone. I feel I didn't get given a chance to fix it. Now I'm 50 and the future just looks so empty and bleak as I know I'll never meet someone like him again.

Jhc · ‎19-12-2019

Hi Nothappy@uni, how long ago did you lose your relationship? Everyone says it gets easier everyday but I'm not feeling that at all. People say I will meet someone else but for me I feel like there will not be anyone so well matched to me. I'm so tired of feeling like this. I make sure I sleep, eat properly and even drag myself off to my usual gym classes but I still feel the same. I sent him an email 2 days ago and he replied last night. One of his reasons was related to the way I am at home about certain things. He tells me this now after breaking up with me. But not at the time. I could have changed my behaviour if I'd known. Why not say something at the time? I'm not a mind reader. I just don't understand why he made the choice to throw it all away for minor things instead of trying to working it out.

Today I went to the GP for a mental health plan. I am hoping that somehow I can heal. I hope you are looking after yourself as well,

Matchy69 · ‎19-12-2019

Hi Jhc,just reading what you have written,i can so understand where you are coming from.My self i lost someone for a silly reason,it involved my anxiety and panic attacks i have.I wish i knew and i could have changed things.

It is good that you are trying to live a normal life and still do gym classes.I dont know when it will get easier for you.I still struggle and been thinking of the person i lost a lot lately and just want them back in my life.i cry for them and miss them so much.

Thats great you saw your GP and got a mental health care plan.I have done that in the pass but i have moved a live a distance from health care so have not done it yet.

Meeting someone new does seem very hard especially when you have the other person costantly on your mine.Just different for everyone how long it takes to get over that person you lost.For me i dont think i will meet anyone else.I met 2 woman in my life that i connected with.

Jhc · ‎28-12-2019

Trying to get through the days one by one. But it's so difficult. I fluctuate between disbelief that it's over and that he can just switch off after how strong our relationship was, to moments of acceptance that it is actually over. I don't understand the stages of grief. I should have anger towards him for doing this to us, but I can't summon it. What is wrong with me? I keep wishing I could go back in time to work out what I did wrong. I tried to make a psych appointment but the waitlist is so long. I don't know how I'm going to make it to February for my possible appointment. I've been reading the forum and can relate to so many of the stories but it only helps a little.

Matchy69 · ‎28-12-2019

Hi Jhc i am glad you got an appointment in Febuary.I know it seems like a long way away but it will come.I know you are still struggling and just want to cry.Some days i just dont want to get out of bed but i do and try to do a few things,not much just something trying to live my life.I know it will never be the same again.Just remember you are stronger then you think and you are an amazing person.