Toxic Families

[midna_6]

Thanks in advance for any advice or suggestions. My husband and I are expecting our first child and are concerned with what will happen moving forward with his immediate family who we’ve gone no contact with.

There’s been a lot of issues with them but I’ll try to summarise; his parents heavily medicated him as a child, have a history of mental abuse, fostered and encouraged non appropriate relationships with him and his older brother (the older brother doesn’t see the issue), have actively worked to prevent him reaching his goals, and weaponise themselves and his nieces against him to guilt him into doing what they want (his brother also does the same). My husband had a weed addiction and severe mental health issues which professionals have linked back to his family so he chose to cut them out. They blame me for this, especially since in our early days I would speak out about their behaviour and challenge them about their actions. He has all of them blocked but I haven’t and said that if there’s ever an emergency that they can contact me. We haven’t heard from them directly for almost a year.
Now that we are expecting, we know that it won’t be long before we hear from them. We are both unsure about keeping them away completely from d child because we don’t want them to miss out on knowing half their family and lose their only chance at cousins. He is more open to giving them a chance but I have many doubts.

Any thoughts?

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

I guess congratulations are in order. 🙂

It does sound like a difficult situation and decision to make based on what you have mentioned. Your concerns about reconnecting with your husband's immediate family as you prepare to welcome your first child, and based on their past actions your concern is valid. It's natural to have doubts and reservations about involving them in your child's life.

Consider having open and compassionate discussions with your husband about your concerns. Prioritize the safety and well-being of your growing family, including your child. You could also talk with friends or seek support from professionals who can offer guidance as you navigate this challenging decision. Remember, the ultimate goal is to create a nurturing environment for your child's happiness and security.

Lastly, note there is no real right or wrong answer - you can only make a decision based on the information  available at hand. This may or may not help. Your posting here shows that you take this matter very seriously.

[midna_6]

Thank you for taking the time to respond, I really appreciate it

[smallwolf]

if you feel you want to talk more ... I'm listening.