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To stay or to leave engagement.

Daydreamer67
Community Member

Hey I’m new to posting and well I could really do with advice.

ive been in a 4 year relationship 2 in which I have been engaged.

we’ve had a lot of ups and downs ranging from online cheating. After every time I stayed because I loved him and that I believed he’d change. The last time he did it was just after we got engaged. I left but took him back not long after afraid I’d be alone. the last year has been different I see and notice things I didn’t before he tells me he loves me but I fear he only says it and doesn’t truly mean it. He doesn’t want to talk to me, do things with me. It’s like he’s cast me aside. I’ve tried to make plans to encourage him but I’m shut down every time. We fight and he tells me I’m small minded that I’m not smart enough to understand it or remember it. That he’s boss and I should do as he says. He wanted to move with his family but that meant giving up all my hopes and dreams for my career. I told him I didn’t. He honestly didn’t care what I wanted because he said we where moving and that was it. He’s finally agreed to stay but now I want to post pone the wedding as it’s 4 months away and I don’t know if getting married is the right thing? I’m a hopeless romantic I need spontaneous and affection though I crave the small gestures nothing to elaborate. A simple I love you no matter what. Kind of thing. Though I don’t even get that. He sits on his PlayStation and I feel like I’m jut apart of the furniture. I leve to do things and he gets cranky I love exercise and he hates me doing it in fear someone would try to chat me up at the gym.

Hes refusing to postpone the wedding even though I said I’m not ready.

Not only because I’m not sure about our relationship but because I no longer see myself when I look in the mirror I no longer know who I am. I want so many things but I feel like they are out of reach . That or he doesn’t approve of them.

what should I do? Stay, leave, find myself , accept it and deal with what I have?

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Please tell us how you’re doing Daydreamer. I really hope you are well and being strong and true to yourself