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To pursue a relationship or not??

Community Member
Hi everyone, I have been friends with this guy for about three years but there’s never been anything between us till recently, where he came over and we ended up making out. The only problem is I have severe depression, anxiety and a food disorder and I don’t know whether to try and pursue a relationship with him or I really shouldn’t because I’ll wreck it and any friendship we had. He doesn’t have any clue I’ve got the disorders either.
2 Replies 2

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear MoiMoi~

Simply because you a have an illness does not mean you have to isolate yourself.

In any good relationship both parties have a say, so if it was me and I really wanted to be with someone I'd sit them down and explain the facts.

I would not do it on the basis that it was part of starting anything heavy, but just that he had now reached the stage where you felt he was entitled to know more about you.

If you try to frame the approach in such a way he can just acknowledge it you may be able to continue your old relationship if he does not want it to go further. If he does care enough about you to want to have a full on relationship it probably won't stop him anyway.

Do you think this is a reasonable way to go?


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Moimoi, good points made by Croix.
One of the problems is that if you do pursue this relationship and he listens to what you have said is good but only to a point, because if you become intimate then it makes the relationship much harder to leave or overcome your problems, it confuses how you think. Geoff.