to good to be true

leelee1994 · ‎26-01-2017

Dont know what to do anymore was doing so well with my depretion and finally starting to be happy again but since i started becoming a happyer funner mum my partner has now decided he wont text me no more threw the day stopped saying i love you stopped hugging me even touching me or holding my hand he would only txt if i txt first would only do things if i done to him first so i stopped and now its just like im single all over again dont even get a goodnight anymore im done feeling like im nothing these days i stay strong for my kids but i dont think i can deal with this relationship the way it is i go out of my way for him and get apsalutly nothing in return what am i ment to do im doing as he does to me so he knows how it feels to be ignored bit still yet nothing at all and the only time he talks to me is about work work is all everything is to him no how are you how was your day is your depretion ok nothing just dam work ive been crying for 3 days now im just about at my wit ends he wont talk to me about how im feeling he ignores everything

BballJ · ‎26-01-2017

Hi leelee1994,

Sorry to hear what you are going through... relationship troubles are always tough and most of us face them... have you both ever considered couples counselling? Maybe that's an avenue that needs to be explored... also are you seeing a psych for your depression? If so, have you found that helps at all?

My best for you and your family,

Jay

leelee1994 · ‎27-01-2017

Hi

No i dont see anyone about my deprtion im tackling it all alone as im gours from anyone that can help and well still no car at all ive asked him about councelling but he always says if you think we need it then why bother been together

H always says hes ganna try his hardest to keep me happy but everytime he says it he distances himself further away from me

But ive also noticed that its hurting him inside that much it shows on his face that witj me doing as he does to me and ignore him its the only thing i can think of doing but yet he always blames work for the way he is but it takes little effort at all to keep me happy but to him thats to much effort even to give me a kiss good afternoon but can always find time to pat the stupid dog

geoff · ‎27-01-2017

hi Leelee, it's awful when you love someone but they don't return the favour in telling you and the hugging and kissing is certainly what you are missing from him, and unfortunately doesn't seem as though it will happen, and that's what breaks your heart.
By doing the same as he does, I don't think is going to bother him, and for him to blame his work, then he is only avoiding the issue, whether he doesn't want to talk about it or whether it's something he can't handle, you don't really know.
Can I ask how long the two of you have been together and even if he won't go to any counseling it doesn't mean that you can't go to your doctor and have a talk with them.
They may want to refer you to a psychologist where you are able to be put on a 'mental health plan' which entitles you to 10 free visits to see one, in other words it won't cost you anything.
I truly believe that this is what you need to do, because by him saying 'that if the both of you need to go to counseling then you shouldn't be together' is not right, there are many couples who go to relationship counseling.
It would be nice to hear back from you. Geoff. x

leelee1994 · ‎27-01-2017

Hi geoff

He use to be one of the most loving popl in the world hens why i fell inlove with him he always made me feel like i was the only one in the whole world he would find any second of anyday to txt or call me while at work just to see how i am going his started changing about 4 months ago and now has stopped everything all together and yes i cant do it no more it is klling me to try and smile or get out of bed all over again

We have been together going on 5 years in ju souvenir a few months

BballJ · ‎29-01-2017

Hi leelee1994,

Very tough situation, one I am not great on giving advice too but have you considered calling the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 to discuss what some options you may have as there has to be something for people in rural areas not able to see GP's and psychs as easily as people who live in the metro.

My best,

Jay

Guest_1055 · ‎29-01-2017

Hi leelee

You sound ever so sad and lonely behind your words. I am so sorry you are hurting. You were doing so well living on the bright side. It hurts bad doesn't it? We just want out partner or hubby to love us in such a way that we feel cherished and noticed even. I know what this feels like too leelee, for me it is complete misery.

I long to have some answers for you, but the only thing coming to my mind at the moment is this:

Get out a piece of paper or your diary and think about every single way that you felt loved, cherished and noticed by your partner. For example did you feel loved when your partner took you fishing that weekend? If so well that could be the first one on your list. Your page might look like this:

1/ Thank you............( write partners name) for taking the time to take me and my boys fishing. I felt so loved when you did that.

Leelee, like I said I am going through a very similar thing. So you are not alone.

Anyway if you decide to give the list a go, will you let me know? If you want to that is. I did have this idea before but never ended up doing it myself. So I am going to do it tomorrow.

Hope you start to feel better leelee.

And it is that a picture of you? You do look sad in it, but it is nice to see what you look like anyway. I did get a pleasant surprise, because I am so used to seeing your pet snake.

Shell xx

leelee1994 · ‎30-01-2017

Thankyou jay i will look into as much as i possibly can

Hey shell yes that is me saddly was not having a good day at all there everything was going wrong no matter whay way i turned

Yes my sweet little girl she is my baby girl my snake

And thanks shell there is quite a few things i could write down on paper as well as what i dont like there is more then likely hundreds of pages i could end up with just wish he would relise on how much i need him threw all this but just seams like h really couldnt care anymore he always blames me for things that go wrong in the relationship even if he does it ask him to at least meet me half way in this his reply is there is no half way with you no matter what i do isnt good enough hensh in him saying that he litterly does nothing at all try talk to him all i get back is work work work

Im at a lose really he has a 3 day weekend coming up at end of the week so lets see where that goes would love his romantic side back tho

But as always shell i will give your idea a go

leelee xx

BballJ · ‎30-01-2017

Hi leelee1994,

Please keep us posted with how you are going, being rural isn't easy but post here as much as you like and you can see people will always be up to talk to you and help where we can 🙂

My best,

Jay

Guest_1055 · ‎31-01-2017

How are you feeling today leelee?

Yes romance..... I think some women really need this to help them feel loved and wanted. Probably some men as well. I wonder if you could just have a date together once a week. Would that be possible?

Thanks for getting back to me about the list. I do hope it helps you feel loved and to see the good things. I haven't started mine yet though.

Also have you come across the pet thread here on Beyond Blue? Just thought it may help you connect more with others. As far as I know there is anyone else that has pet snakes. You could share stories about them. Plus you have so many other animals on your property too.

Are you still having fun times with your two precious boys?

Shell xx