Tired, worn out, sick of being expected to do everything and not being respected.

CMF · ‎05-10-2016

Well not a good day for me. I am so down and out and sick of everything. My 2 older kids went interstate with their dad (my ex husband) last week for a few days as his new GF lives there. My eldest daughter cam home sick, coughing, sneezing etc. She has ben sick for a week and still not better. My little one is now also coughing and sneezy. My ex husband has gone back interstate of course as he is renting an apartment there and goes back and forth every week. It frustrates me that his life just goes on like one big holiday while I am stuck looking after sick kids. He is a selfish liar, doesn't think he should have to do anything. Does not think about anyone but himself and putting on a show to impress people. He works for himself, always used the excuse of work to get out of things but clearly its just another lie as he can work from interstate while he visits his GF without any problem. I am so tired, not much sleep as the girls are coughing at night. My little ones dad does all his things first and I feel worries about us last and i'm so sick of it. I feel they both just expect me to deal with everything, making excuses to get out of any responsibility. I don't ask much of anyone but when I do I always have to be let down. Selfish, selfish, selfish liars. Am I that worthless to everyone? I mean seriously do they really expect me to just do everything? I feel like telling them both to go to hell and packing up and moving. It is so cold today. I cant take much more of everyone being sick and the cold weather.

CMF · ‎02-11-2016

Hi,

just an update. I am trying to be positive and see the good in him. I went to the market Sunday. As he has the car seat now he didn't have to come with me and then take my car which meNt I didn't have to wait an hour for him to pick me up afterwards. This freedom in itself was great. He came to my house, he and the little one went to a market to buy fresh fish, meat and veg. They then came home and he cooked for the little one and my other 2, there was so much food prepared. After the market ( I had an ok day) I came home, unpacked the car and we sat around for a while. He then needed to do a few things so took little miss with him so I could have a rest. When they got back later he cooked dinner for us and helped clean up while I bathed her. There were no disagreements. I decided to go with the flow, went along with his jokes and I felt it was a good day. The freedom I felt was great not having to rely on him to pick me up from the market. He told me to book as many markets as I wNted so On Monday I booked for the rest of the month. I rang him later tell him, he was fine with it but did question what if it rains. I had to take that risk or I may miss out on getting a stall, he said it's a good thing. He did sound a bit snappy which he sometimes does.this got me thinking, maybe the environment he's is ie living with his parents, makes him moody and irritable. His parents are irritating at times. I'm sure if he lived in his own place he would be in better spirits, they wouldn't aggravate him. I'm wondering if this is why he is so moody at times, because he's coming from that environment. On Sunday he didn't take little miss to see his parents as far as I know. I found this interesting, I thought he would. He hung around my place all day.

well I'm going to try and focus moreon the good he does and see if we can get along better. The day we almost had the car accident I was already anxious and depressed, so I snapped when he joked about it which made him react badly.im not accepting his behaviour but I'm going to try and lighten up a little if for no other reason than my own sanity.

cmf x

Starwolf · ‎02-11-2016

Kudos to you, Cmf...I'm so proud of you !

It is good to see you taking care of yourself, you so much deserve it. And it sounds like your ex is responding better than he has been. Sure, setbacks on the way are to be expected but previous victories make it easier to cope with them... they also help put our resolve to the test.

Wishing you plenty good weather for all future markets.

CMF · ‎03-11-2016

Thx Star,

today an injured bird got into my house. HE came past after work to help capture it and we dropped it off at a local vet. On the way home during a discussion he told me that people said I was mad for naming him as the little ones dad. That I should have said I didn't know who the father was So I'd get more benefits etc. I asked which people said this and it's none of their business, he claims that it is their business as you need to tell people things to get advice etc. I'm so worked up about this. He is the one who doesn't disclose things yet he discussed our personal business with people. Just like when he discussed my personal finances with his family. It really offends me. On top,of this my ex husband who works for himself, earns good money, Drives a $100000 car, has a mortgage here, rents an apartment interstate as his gf lives there, flies over to see her every week and is buying a car there, is asking a favour fromme to give him half the money of the education allowance I get for low income ($100) to help him with the school fees. We pay 50/50 but he earns triple and he thinks he's entitled to half the allowance??? We had a big argument last yearre this, he didn't get it that only low income can claim it, kept saying I have to give half to him. In the end I had the school ring him. They kept leaving him messages, not sure if he rant them back. I told him last year he looks so stupid trying to get $100 from me towRds school fees when he earns triple but we split it 50/50. WTF is that? How does he tank he is entitled to that? Last year he said we'd pay 70/30 but then said it was so lopsided and changed to 60/40 but only for my daughter not my son. I can't co prehensile the stupidity of the way he thinks. If he's thinks it's hard for him, what about me. I don't understand how he doesn't see that, how he thinks he's entitled to it. I'm so agitated, just don't get it, is he really that stupid, that dumb?

Touille · ‎04-11-2016

Hi CMF,

Sounds like your ex didn't take long to start his crap again, shows you he is a hedonistic person who only wants to upset others. Your ex hubby is obviously very greedy person who as people are known for who earn good money don't like parting with it. Of course he isn't entitled to it, sometimes honestly you shouldn't say too much of your personal business to these two men so they don't want to suck more out of you. You know the guy who is telling everyone, people will think he is nuts, he is probably deliberately making stuff up to pry into your business or try and upset you, try not fall for his stupid talk. Refuse to listen to it.

I hope you can sleep well.

Hugs,

Touille.

CMF · ‎04-11-2016

I just st read something that said waking up between 1am and 3am is a sign of pent up anger and emotions. Haha it's 2.38am.

i don't even know how to respond to my ex husband.With all his money and lavish lifestyle he is trying to get $100 off me? Ido t k ow how to respond because he can be quite vindictive. He has a screw loose thats for sure. If it wasn't so stupid I'd laugh. Oesnt he realise how stupid he looks doing this?

oh goodness I'm aggravated again and a little anxious.

CMF · ‎04-11-2016

Well after a restless night and not much sleep I've decided that I'm going to ask my ex husband if we can worry about the$100 next year. Before any of that happens we still need tomorfer school books and buy school shoes etc so that is really my priority. The $100 issue doesn't even come into play till about July. It's the fact that he asked for the favour that annoys me. As for the other one, well he has done some good things recently so I'm going to forget about his comment. It's insignificant now.

As they say, it's not what happens to you it's how you react...or something like that 😊

Cmf

Starwolf · ‎04-11-2016

Ah Cmf...why does he not understand the stupidity of his trend of thoughts ? Because he doesn't want to. If he did, he would have to question it. Not all people are prepared to question their questionable behaviour. Because then they would have to change it, wouldn't they ?

The good thing is, you are so much better off without him. The bad news is that you must still have some involvement in his BS because of the children. Please make sure -for your self-protection- that this involvement doesn't become too emotional. I know how hard it is (been in a similar place) but other alternatives are far from attractive.

You're doing great and you can keep doing it.

Please take care of yourself.

Lost_Girl · ‎09-11-2016

Hi cmf,

So sorry you're still putting up with this type of behaviour.

It is respectful for your daughter to have her father's name on the birth certificate regardless of how you could have wrought the system without it. How would she feel later in life to have the father listed as unknown? When he mentions these things perhaps you should just shut the conversation down. You are not obligated to talk to him about any of your personal information.

As for the ex. I assume your financial relationship is being managed privately. I would just tell him that you are doing what is reasonable based on your finances. If he is unhappy with that, he can always formalise the arrangement.

Let it stay their problem. You are doing the right thing. If they don't like it tell them to go do something about it formally, where you know they will lose out and you will likely end up with more.

Just be confident in shutting down the conversations.

Hope it gets better lovely x

CMF · ‎10-11-2016

Thx Star and Carol,

your insight is always helpful as you see things in a way that I don't.

things have been ok for now. I have a bit of anxiety at the moment but I think it's hormone related as I'm also very tired.

hope you are both doing ok.

cmf x

Moonstruck · ‎18-11-2016

Dear CMF....I'm so sorry for not contacting you sooner...realised how long it had been since I had seen you around and was worried about you.....I've been in my own black pit and not keeping up with things as I should....thinking quite confused and muddled actually.....not making much sense these days.

The ocean seems so far away - it seems years since I was down there in the healing waters - but the world and its people won't leave me alone....the sea seems unreachable right now - I hope I can get there again.......love from me xx