FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Community Manager
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

Tired, worn out, sick of being expected to do everything and not being respected.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Well not a good day for me. I am so down and out and sick of everything. My 2 older kids went interstate with their dad (my ex husband) last week for a few days as his new GF lives there. My eldest daughter cam home sick, coughing, sneezing etc. She has ben sick for a week and still not better. My little one is now also coughing and sneezy. My ex husband has gone back interstate of course as he is renting an apartment there and goes back and forth every week. It frustrates me that his life just goes on like one big holiday while I am stuck looking after sick kids. He is a selfish liar, doesn't think he should have to do anything. Does not think about anyone but himself and putting on a show to impress people. He works for himself, always used the excuse of work to get out of things but clearly its just another lie as he can work from interstate while he visits his GF without any problem. I am so tired, not much sleep as the girls are coughing at night. My little ones dad does all his things first and I feel worries about us last and i'm so sick of it. I feel they both just expect me to deal with everything, making excuses to get out of any responsibility. I don't ask much of anyone but when I do I always have to be let down. Selfish, selfish, selfish liars. Am I that worthless to everyone? I mean seriously do they really expect me to just do everything? I feel like telling them both to go to hell and packing up and moving. It is so cold today. I cant take much more of everyone being sick and the cold weather.
81 Replies 81

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Moon,

please don't feel you need to apologise. I'm so sad to hear you've been feeling so down. I haven't been around much but have been ok, run off my feet actually organising school books and getting my som ready for school camp etc. things have been going ok for me, no big arguments or disagreements. I'm trying to go with the flow as far as HE is concerned and appreciate the good instead that f focusing on the negatives. After all, we all have negative traits. I do find if I'm in better spirits around him he peps up too.

i hope you do get back to the ocean. It will do you the world of good. Do you know what's causing your low mood? I will check your thread.

im thinking of you and sending you a big hug.

cmf x

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Well after a few good weeks this weekend he was back to his arrogant moody self. He was moody last night as we went out, then fine, then off in his own world. This morning his parents car wouldn't start so he had to come to the market with me and then take my car. As I was setting up he kept going on about how thevterrariums were dusty and I should have cleaned them etc (I didn't think they were so dirty). He kept going on about it I had to tell him to shut up as people could hear him. Little Miss was crying, wanted to stay with me. He took her for a walk but kept coming back to me so she kept getting upset. I had to tell him to go for a walk and then leave as people kept looking at us. I asked him to please pick me up at 1.15pm as it wS quite hot and I didn't want to sit and wait in the heart. He arrived at 1.45pm, didn't care at all that I was waiting in the heat, just arrogant and inconsiderate. I rang about 15 times, he didn't answer at all. Said little miss had to finish her yoghurt which he obviously offered her when he should have been leaving. We then quickly went to a shopping centre. I didn't want to be long as the plants were in the car in the heat so I wS in a bit of a hurry. He told me I was unbelievable and stupid.

I have no idea why the sudden change. He mentioned other ways I could sell my terrariums, that I needed a stage 2 plan. I told him I agreed and the market was just a starting point/exposure. He asked what my next plan was and then laughed at me and said I didn't even have a first plan, not even a 1/4of a plan.

he complained about tge 3yo tantrums, blamed me said I feed it. It was a weekend full of put downs and crtisism. He did prepare some cooking and buy food but I don't know why the bad attitude.

Anyway, I chose not to let it get to me but instead accept this is how he is and the problem is with him,not me. In fact when I dropped him home I yelled cheerie thank you and goodbye.

i don't think I will ever understand him. He is a strange one.

cmf x

Touille
Community Member

Hi CMF,

Your ex is a strange one for sure.

I must say you are a intelligent woman in the way you don't let the negative attitude of others get to you, life is hard as it is, least you don't have to live with him, lol.

So how are you now and your kids? They all must be happy to be on school holidays?

Touille

Starwolf
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey Cmf, I'm so proud of you...kudos to you for developing emotional immunity.

By the sound of it, this man doesn't understand himself either. His kind are often at the mercy of their own moods and emotions without having a clue what causes them. It would be the last thing he'd like to investigate anyway. Much easier to project onto others and have them wear the blame !

Well done for refusing the bait.

I hope you enjoy an exciting but peaceful Xmas surrounded by the love of those you cherish.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Touille and Star,

belated Merry xmas. Sorry I just saw your posts, thx for your comments. I posted in one of the Xmas threads, the one for people struggling. He verbally abused mr Xmas day, put his mum down at lunch in front of everyone and was just a nasty pastie. I worked. Out what triggered a he outburst but it was totally uncalled for. I come to accept he is a narcissist. I did not let it get to me too much but I'm pretty down now. I loathe him ATM, manipulative, abusive, secretive. I'm such an idiot fir not realising/accepting this earlier.

cmf x

Touille
Community Member

Hi CMF,

Sorry you had to put up with the nonsense from the guy. All you can do is have contact when it's really necessary with your daughters father and do things with your other kids to put your mind off his stupidity.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Touille,

happy new year.

yeah it's a shame, I just keep reminding myself the issu is with him not me. I think I'm the only one who stands up to him. His mum just sits there and his sister doesn't defend her when he does it.

anyway, it's a new year, a new book, new chapters. Let's make it a good one.

hope you are doing ok? How are things?

cmf x

Touille
Community Member

Hi CMF,

Yes, New beginnings.

I'm fine, thanks. Everything is ok, some things have got better for me.

It's good to hear you are going to have a positive view of the future 🙂

Take Care

Touille

Lost_Girl
Community Member

Dear CMF,

I am sorry you had to put up with that, especially on xmas day. It is wonderful to see you naming ot for what it is though, a problem with him and not you. I can see you have come a long way from where previously you would have questioned yourself. Well done you!

A new year and a new mindset. Keep reinforcing those positive thoughts about yourself. You are an intelligent, kind and caring woman. You deserve to be happy, to do some things for you. You are amazing.

Happy New Year lovely. I hope it is all that you deserve xx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

So my ex husband is an arrogant, lying so and so and the little ones dad we haven't seen or heard from since Christmas Day (which suits me, I feel free). I can't believe I fell for not 1 but 2 idiots in my life.

What an idiot I am, at least my ex husband isn't abusive, he's just a fake liar.

oh well, I'm hormonal, angry, tired of school holidays and frustrated with my life. Such an idiot lol.

just having a rant.

cmf x