You can always talk to us if you like 🙂 I know it’s not the same as talking to someone in person, but sometimes it’sliberating to be able to say how you feel without having to feel embarrassed, like you can in person. Plus, we all have our problems on here as well, so I like to think we are a pretty understanding, non-judgmental group of people.
I'd like to join Juliet_84 in welcoming you here. Most humans are not built to operate all alone and when one has problems it is often very necessary to sing out to others. This can be just to vent, or discuss matters to gain perspective and maybe ideas, plus simple support and encouragement.
Not wanting to upset your family is very thoughtful, however it makes things hard.
Do you mind if I ask what is troubling you? As Juliet says there are an awful lot of people here, and our combined experiences pretty wide.
I look forward to hearing back from you
Hello Deb, a warm welcome to the forums and thanks for posting.
I'm sorry you feel like this because when you want to talk to someone especially about your emotions, you're not sure of what type of reaction you will get and what they will say in return, and if it's not a positive one, and only makes you feel as though you want to crawl back into bed, we don't want that to happen.
Please don't be afraid of talking with us, we know exactly how you are feeling, just take your time, and you don't have to say everything and on this site, we never criticise because we know the situation you are in.
Take care and Best Wishes.
I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum. Having CB is a great burden in itself without all the hassles that come from other people's reactions. I'm glad that you are able to go to the gym and get around, it at least gives you an outlet, you are not stuck at home all the time.
It is one of those sad facts that anyone who is not exactly like everyone else is treated with reserve. I'm sure you have though about this in great detail and realize that if you have involuntary moments, limited mobility, imprecise speech or other symptoms then they tend to be the first thing people see and react to.
That reaction is often not to know what to do or how to act, an uncomfortable feeling so many try to avoid the situation, or make assumptions that are not warranted. All very hurtful and frustrating for you.
I guess there are a couple of things to say.
The first is if a person is in regular contact with someone who has a disability then over time they stop noticing the outside appearance and come to just see the person -in this case you.
The second thing is that this is a sort of section process, those with the ability to persevere and see beyond the superficial are the ones that stick around and get to know the person, and they are the ones worth knowing.
I met someone years ago who had a lot of mobility problems. At first all I saw was the wheelchair. Because circumstances threw us together I came to the point where I no longer saw it, unless it got jammed or something like that, I saw the person, their interests, abilities and humor. That person remains as a friend who I visit often.
If it is female company you are after it only takes one - out of half the population of the world - to come into your life and click for a deep relationship to develop.
I'm not saying things are either easy or quick, I'm afraid they are not and understand that. It is easy to become despondent and feel hopeless, I guess it is a question of coping, concentrating on the things you enjoy and letting others see your inner qualities.
Although it can take courage to do so, where practical joining in groups who have similar interests to yours increases the chance of finding true freinds.
May I ask if you live alone, or with family? Are there people who you regard as friends?
I just realized I missed the 't' off the end of your name, I make typos by the dozen every day - my apologies.
While I was sitting here I though about relationships and it reminded me that the theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking both married and divorced whilst having MND. While I'm not sure of the circumstances in his case it does lead me to reflect that there might be a temptation to accept anyone into your life because they seem attractive on the surface or show an initial interest.
This actually applies to most people. You are the same as everyone else in needing a person who recognizes your worth and for there to be a balance. For them to make you happy, and as importantly for you to make them happy too - something I'm sure you will be able to do.
Deb, I too welcome you to the forum.
AS you can see by the number of responses many people are ready to listen to you talk.
It is up to you.
It can be hard to write down how you are feeling emotionally so we are here for you.
You are not alone and we are here to support you.
Memorytrap, welcome to the forum. This is a very friendly and helpful place with supportive people.
Thanks for write several posts, and I hope you begin to feel more confident.
Also if you have not already started your own thread . You may not want to do that and it is fine. I did not start my own thread for quite a while after making my first post. It is just an option. Going on other people's threads and offering help is a good way to become part of the forum.