The narcissistic matriarch
Hi Melissam, welcome
I'm guessing she is a controlling type of person. Working for these sort is risky. If she is indeed narcissistic she might be the sort of person Dr Christine Lawson described in her book "Walking on egg shells". If you google "witch,hermit,waif,queen" you'll see what I mean.
I've had a roller coaster life with a narcissistic mother. She tried and was partially successful in ruining my first wedding. She was constantly using triangulation with family members whereby she'd fall out with me for example and could remove all other family members from my life through control. She'd be jealous of her grandchildren at xmas time for getting laptop computers even though she couldn't use one. She'd claim illnesses like heart attacks, blindness etc for attention. In fact eventually these claims of illnesses were the end for me and my sister to her.
In the end if this person doesn't seek help then you are in a no win situation. Cut your losses and move on. I know how hard that will be. My mother was all 4 characters mentioned above. She ruined families. But in the end tyrants don't win in the long term. Now my mother is 83yo and she will never see my sister and I again, nor some grandchildren (their own choice not influenced by us). We have disconnected by choice for survival. There is also evidence out there that these people can cause mental illness to their children. My sister and I have several mental illness issues.
Hope that helps. Tony WK