The end of a relationship is always hard, but I have lost all hope.

[Boo1986]

Hi everyone, I suffer from Depression and Anxiety, I take my medication and see my psychologist at least once a month. I try to eat right and exercise, and catch up with friends whenever I have the energy. I have my beautiful rescue dog to keep me company and encourage me to keep active. I really try to battle against this problem, but it seems the harder I try, the more it ends up hurting.

I recently put myself out there on a dating website and got to know some wonderful people. There was one I was particularly interested in and we started dating. Everything was going so well and I felt so happy for once. Yesterday he broke up with me. I am shattered. It took so much courage for me to sign up for online dating and to let him in.

I guess I just want to hear from others that there is hope, that love exists. I would really love to hear from people that have had positive experiences and can help me fight my demons. The depression tells me to give up, that it's not worth it, that it's better just to be alone than risk getting hurt. Usually I can try to control my thoughts and not let the depression take hold but I am really struggling right now. I'd really love some positive words to try to push back all the negatives in my mind. I just can't see the positives right now. Any help would really be appreciated.

[Boo1986]

Thanks Paul, you have been a wonderful support over the past few months since I joined beyondblue 😃

I do not tollerate his sort of behaviour anymore. In the past I had an abusive relationship where I had allowed him to get away with this sort of thing early on, and it got worse and worse, eventually became physically abusive. Now I know that I must assert myself and be clear about my expectations, and not to make excuses for a partners poor behaviour. I am not saying that people who swear & get angry always become abusive, but it is not worth the risk. If I excuse this behaviour now, subconsciously he may begin to think this behaviour is acceptable and normal. He needs to know it is not OK. By respecting myself I can teach others to respect me.

Although I am yet to find a partner, I am blessed with some wonderful friends who make me feel appreciated and recognise the qualities I do have.

Thank-you so much Paul, for all of your kindness and making me feel worthwhile 😃

[Boo1986]

Hi Spearmint,

I really feel this is a wonderful talent that you have. I understand social anxiety and also feel I can express myself better in writing. I wonder though, there may be avenues that you could go down to provide online support as lots of young people these days do not like to talk face-to-face and prefer receiving advice online... I think even through beyondblue they provide this kind of service? I'd have to double check about that but I am pretty sure they do.

If not, it may also be a great asset to you to suffer from social anxiety... you have genuine understanding and so will really be able to connect with people. I think when I read some articles to get ideas on how to deal with my depression and anxiety I sometimes find myself reading along thinking "well that is easy for them to say because they don't even know how it feels!" but when I speak to someone else going through the same/similar things, their advice is so much more valuable to me. As you go through life and find things that help your anxiety, you will build up a tool box of tried and true methods that you can share with others. Don't completely close off to the idea of working with people face-to-face... maybe at the moment your anxiety is quite high but in the future you may reach a place where you have it completely under control and feel confident to take on a new challenge 😃 you would be so wonderful at it.

For me, I think I will take your advice and be gentle with myself and enjoy some time to nurture myself.

Thank-you for all of your help,

Boo

[Kazzaroo]

Hugss Boo!! I have a feeling you will hear from him again! Your an intelligent young lady and you will know how to handle it this time that makes it better for you. Movies and Holly hugs and cuddles over the weekend sound like a great idea!! Take time for yourself and get your thoughts together xx Kazz xx

[blondguy]

Thankyou Boo for the super kind post

To hear that I have been a wonderful support is a gift to read

Your strength is outstanding..

(its not relevant but your beautiful woofer next to you in your profile pic looks like the great dane out of the Movie 'Seven Pounds' starring Will Smith Rosario Dawson & Woody Harrelson)

my kindest

Paulx

[Spearmint]

Hi Boo,

Your feedback and words of encouragement really means so much and I love your idea of online support. Thank you!

I hope that you are doing okay after everything x

[Boo1986]

Hi Paul,

hehe I can never resist an opportunity to talk about my beautiful boy Sarge. He was actually American staffy x american bulldog (hence the droopy chops hehe). He definitely does have that Great Dane look about him, I have such a soft spot for big dogs... the gentle giants. He was a big puppy who never quite realised how big he was (and I wouldn't have it any other way). I used to worry when I'd have play dates with him and my little sister's dog Alexa (Maltese x Chihuahua) thinking that he might hurt her... but he was very gentle... and she would tell him off if he was getting too close haha it was so cute to see, she was the little one but she was calling the shots!

I love him with all my heart. He passed away a little over a year ago after being bitten by a tiger snake. He fought so hard to keep his heart beating but after the vets had done everything they could, eventually he just couldn't go on anymore. Sometimes I still can't believe he is gone. I still talk to him and feel that he isn't far away.

I still wear his tags on a chain around my neck and have a picture of him on my desk at work. I tell Holly (my rescue) all about her big brother Sarge and how much she reminds me of him. She is an American staffy too, same colours, opposite position (Sarge had a patch over his left eye, Holly's is on her right). I wish our little family could be together. If I could see my babies playing together I would have everything I ever anted and I just know they would be best friends.

Hehe you shouldn't get me talking about my dogs, I'll never stop!!

[Boo1986]

Hi Spearmint,

Random question... in your profile picture, do you know if this was an art instalment at Rainbow Serpent Festival? I think I have seen it before 😃

[Boo1986]

Thanks so much Kazz... how are things going with your daughter?

[Spearmint]

Not sure about the Rainbow Serpent festival but it was at the Burning man festival 🙂

[Boo1986]

Ahh yes I think you are right!! It's beautiful 😃