The end of a relationship is always hard, but I have lost all hope.

Boo1986 · ‎06-12-2016

Hi everyone, I suffer from Depression and Anxiety, I take my medication and see my psychologist at least once a month. I try to eat right and exercise, and catch up with friends whenever I have the energy. I have my beautiful rescue dog to keep me company and encourage me to keep active. I really try to battle against this problem, but it seems the harder I try, the more it ends up hurting.

I recently put myself out there on a dating website and got to know some wonderful people. There was one I was particularly interested in and we started dating. Everything was going so well and I felt so happy for once. Yesterday he broke up with me. I am shattered. It took so much courage for me to sign up for online dating and to let him in.

I guess I just want to hear from others that there is hope, that love exists. I would really love to hear from people that have had positive experiences and can help me fight my demons. The depression tells me to give up, that it's not worth it, that it's better just to be alone than risk getting hurt. Usually I can try to control my thoughts and not let the depression take hold but I am really struggling right now. I'd really love some positive words to try to push back all the negatives in my mind. I just can't see the positives right now. Any help would really be appreciated.

Kazzaroo · ‎04-04-2017

Hugs Boo!! Thanks for asking about my daughter..... we don't have the tears like we used to and when it first happened I thought how are we going to get over this and thinking back from the start we have come a long way. I really wish that she can forget him and move on its been 4 months now (not sure if thats still early for a heart) and it's easy for me to say that......but I know she has started texting him again!!!! She messaged him to ask if he misses her and he said maybe sometimes!! Then she asked if he wanted to try and get that spark back, about catching up, about how she still wants to be with him etc etc etc and he either ignores her or he did say I'm not going over the same conversation that we have had over the past four months over and over again! I can see he doesn't want to get back IFFFFFF he did it would have been way before now AND he would text nice things but I can't understand why she can't see it?? She said she misses him but as I said to her its not HIM you miss its the figure of a person that socially shares your life (she doesnt have a huge circle of friends and doesn't go out socially much) and he was a HUGE part of her social life. I think the biggest hurdle we will have to face will if he ever gets into another relationship because she has convinced herself that he doesnt want a relationship at all so why would he get into another one with someone else she keeps saying. I hope he doesnt get into another one for a while because I'm not looking forward to that heartbreak of a time. I watch her body language around the house and she is singing to herself.....talking all cutie patootie to the dogs...and laughing so that makes me happy to see so lets hope that can continue. But deep down I feel stressed thinking she won't completely let go and its stopping her from finding true happiness. I think if she was an out there kind of girl she would have lots of opportunities but she isn't and that worries me. But then again I suppose its only been 4 months!! Thanks for listening xx Hows things with you Boo? Does your ex still contact you? xx Kazz xx

Boo1986 · ‎06-04-2017

Wow, she has made some amazing improvements!!! Although I am concerned that she is still in touch with him, I think now is a good time to step back and look at how deep her love is, what a good heart she has and how proud you should be as a mother to have raised such a genuine soul. Someday, someone else will see how valuable that is in a relationship and they will give her that same deep and lasting love.

Is she interested in anything that she could do socially? Like join a sports team or dancing class? Yoga? Knitting? anything at all? it would be great if she could join up to something, she will meet new friends and also have something to distract her. New friends will boost her confidence and give her even more opportunities to meet more new friends and even potential love connections. You know what sorts of things she enjoys... maybe have a browse online and see if there are any local things she would like and casually mention it to her... see if she is up to it 🙂 Expanding her social circle will help so much. What do you think?

Kazzaroo · ‎06-04-2017

Thanks for replying Boo! hugssss to you hun xx Yes she has made huge improvements but Im really concerned about her still contacting him (she doesn't know I know!) but you shouldnt leave your facebook logged in on your nosey mums laptop (I know my bad!!).... so I don't talk about her messaging him because she doesnt know I know.....but she did come out and tell me about her messaging him the bit about do you miss me? I'm just so worried about when the time comes that he DOES get into another relationship because I know that is going to make her hit rock bottom........everyone that comes across my daughter comments on how stunning looking she is.......and what a beautiful person she is and how she is very caring, giving and has a heart of gold. Ive had guys say to me that know her.....ANY guy would be happy to have her as their partner. She thinks her ex is ALL THAT ..... but she doesnt know any other way and one day hopefully someone does cross her path and becomes that someone special in her life and then she will realise WOW I didnt know you could be treated like this. Ive tried to encourage all the social things but she isnt interested and there isnt a lot I can do about that I can't force her.....I just have to keep my fingers crossed that one day someone will unexpectedly cross her path and be that special one. its not quite 4 months since its happened......I hope eventually she can let go and forget about him.... because he obviously doesnt care about her enough to even reply to a text but in saying that I think its best he doesnt be too forward in replying and conversating because then she definately wont let go. Have you heard any more from your ex Boo? and how are you feeling within yourself hun xxx Kazz xxx

quirkywords · ‎08-04-2017

Kazz and Boo,

I find the support that you two give each other and they way you communicate honestly and with compassion, to be so reassuring .

Kazz as a parent of adult children I can sense your feelings and concern for your daughter.

When I was younger and well into my adult life I made so many mistakes in relationships . I wish I had the common sense that Boo has and a non judgmental parent like kazz.

Hope everyone is doing ok. I am learning a lot by reading posts.

quirkywords

Kazzaroo · ‎10-04-2017

Oh Thank you for your kind words Quirky 🙂 It's nice to have support and I for one have got a lot chatting on here and hearing how others cope with things and its been great building up a friendship with Boo she has been a very supportive help.

I think we all make mistakes its just part of life but when you see your child that you love so much go through pain its hard but we have all gone through heartache and I'm sure "eventually" she will be able to move on and find happiness.... PS... Boo and Quirky I have made a friend on here (who is the same age as my daughter) her name is Lizzie and she is struggling with a break up as well......so if either of you ever have time if you look for the post "Need Help on Helping My Daughter with a Broken Heart and Letting Go" (suicide thoughts and self harm) I know she would appreciate the extra support and words of wisdom xx Kazz xx