Suddenly paranoid and depressed partner

[Tanya_P]

I have also been with my partner for 2 years, but up until 2 months ago, you would not have known that he even had depression, let alone paranoia. He has always been a very happy-go-lucky chap and very positive. I just don't understand the sudden change in personality, and its hitting me very hard as I am back 3 months ago when we were still so happy and very much in love, and he is here where we are now accusing me of things I didn't do, his thoughts are extremely bizarre and disorganised, and he has very angry sudden outbursts.
I just don't understand how we got from where we were to where we are now, almost overnight. He goes out gambling, which he never did before, he is working all day and then comes home and does UberEats at night to get more money. He is obsessed with power and feels like he is lower than low in class, and to the best of my memory, I have never intentionally made him feel this way.
When he starts to falsely accuse me of things, I try to shift the topic to something else, but he persists often and we end up fighting because I have to deny his accusations because they hurt so much.
Has anyone experienced such a sudden change in personality? Will he go back to how he was before or is this our life now?

He was seeing a local psychologist, but has decided that he doesn't trust them. He is now looking for a new one, which will delay treatment even longer. He has made a telehealth appointment with the GP for tomorrow at least to ask for some antidepressants. Hopefully, they will give them to him and they will make a difference.

Has anyone had any experience with this?

[white knight]

Hi, well it is commended he is seeking treatment and it isnt unacceptable to want to find a different psychologist.

I think you shouldnt be shut out of the process of treatment. It's very important that they know of your battles within the marriage so they see any harm done. This can display to the professional medical people how far the illness is taking effect and how it needs to be treated.

Furthermore, medications take time to take effect, anti depressants around 6 weeks (consult your administrator of the medication) and even then could need evaluation as to side effects and dosage. It can be a long haul as I found out but eventually he can get to a stable point and find happiness.

As to his sudden change of personality as you put it, that is for a professional to diagnose. We are people that largely suffer an illness ourselves and some as peer advisers, not professionals.

I hope that helps

TonyWK

[geoff]

Hello Tanya, thanks for your comment.

When a relationship is formed then any problems you or the person you're dating has are put on hold because you're madly in love and can quite easily hide any problems you might be experiencing.

After a few months when you learn more about this person, their real personality develops and begins to reveal itself, much to your surprise.

If he has a tendency to gamble then he's highly conscious of protecting his money so he can gamble it away and it some has been spent otherwise, then he may become angry.

The same applies with his new psychologist, who he doesn't see anymore, if his addiction to gambling has been mentioned, then he will not like this person because they may be centring the discussion around this, which he doesn't want.

If he hasn't seen the doctor then that will need to be organised because I don't believe a doctor will authorise any AD's without seeing him first of all.

I can't say whether he will remain like this, as we don't know how the medication will help him or not, however, if he is unable to change his ways, then this could be possible, so please let us know how he goes about the AD's because this could be start to getting better.

Best wishes.

Geoff.