Struggling with relationship
Hello Larlar, welcome to the forums.
A relationship/marriage needs to be worked out financially between the two of you and if he's spending whatever amount of money when he's out drinking and not contributing to the household affairs, then there could bed a huge problem, which is what is happening.
You have 3 kids plus all the other expenses required to be able to function in a family with huge expenses so it's easy.
The trouble is if his wage/Centrelink payment goes into his account then it's going to be difficult to obtain and at least talking about money between a couple is never easy.
If he refuses, then you need to deny him, a comfy bed, to sleep in another bedroom, and knowing where to draw the line when it comes to behaviours he will expect.
Having the confidence to say 'no' to another is one important aspect of
creating boundaries, but it begins by knowing what you do and don’t
want to do.
There are a couple of other options but we'd like to hear back from.
Also just to clarify I never get mad or raise my voice or demand . He will walk away from just general conversation if it doesn't suit him or he doesn't want to talk about it