FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Announcement Icon
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

So lonely i feel ill

Caravan
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Just hoping for some help i am in absolute despair. I'm completely lonely, have no family and no friends. My loneliness is literally killing me and i don't know what to do anymore. Although i tried to get out there and do things but nothing works and no one to connect with. I feel like i don't exist and nobody sees me. As a 39 year old male, making friends is becoming impossible. I'm too scared to spend the rest of my life like this...
32 Replies 32

Ellie05
Community Member

Hi Caravan,

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I definitely understand what it feels like to be lonely.

I often wonder if our modern lifestyles are making us sick will how isolating they can be. It used to be that we lived, slept and worked with the same tribe of people everyday. Hunting and gathering would typically be a group effort and the meal would be shared. Nowadays you don't have to interact with a single soul to feed yourself, you can just go down to the supermarket and use the self service checkout.

It's just all to easy to become socially isolated in our world but there are things we can do in order to connect with other people. You mentioned you tried to get out there? What types of things did you do?

Are there any old friends that you can try reconnecting with? I'm not sure where you live but you could try joining a Meetup group or Men's Shed.

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Dahhh just lost post

Hey Caravan welcome & good for you reaching out, you now have two people to chat to & if you're interested you could jump in other threads & be talking to others as well as your thread here & theres a few social threads too

Good idea Ellie re mens shed

Another thing i've always enjoyed is public transporting,even if you dont talk to people which mostly i do you're stil around them & amongst it which can fill voids

Do you have interests sport or hobbies maybe you could join a club or join a card playing group.i know here there's a group plays Euka dunno if you like poker i played that for while was good being round new people as i'd lost my darling partner found myself using distraction to get through grieving. Getting there

There are ways of making contact with people, another is if you contact your community centre you'll probs find more avenues there too. There are also volunteers visit people so you might be eligible too

Hope to hear back from you ☺

Lifesjustpassingmeby
Community Member
Unfortunately I dont have any advice but I do know exactly how you feel caravan. It's a horrible feeling. I'm 33 years old I have no friends basically no family. I cry myself to sleep at night. I feel so empty. I've tried many different things to try and meet people but nothing seems to be working. Loneliness is killing me. I'm afraid that I will spend whatever time I have left here alone......

Life you too have here now as well.

Not face on but real people

That care

Caravan
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Thank you Ellie for your care. You are right the bigger the city gets the more isolating it becomes.

I've tried meetup and still go to some events but nothing works on an ongoing basis. It is just so bloody hard making friends as an adult. I've also tried volunteering but i don't get the emotional fulfilment i need and it doesnt fill the void. Everything is so quite...

Thanks for your advice, i will look into mens' shed as well...Cheers

Hey demonblaster thanks very much mate for your care and advice. I've been trying hard to find social outlets and make friends and i'm just sick and tired of trying. Nothing is working. I feel like time has passed me by and I'm staring to loose my mind!

Sorry to hear about your situation and hope things get better for you.

Thanks mate and i will look into the options you recommended. Cheers!

Hey Life thanks for your message and care. I am going through exactly the same thing and i'm worried it's too late and nothing will change. Very scared of what's to come! I feel so empty, lonely and sad that it's making me sick. I do hope that things get better for you...well for both of us! Cheers and pls continue to reach out for help.

Ellie05
Community Member

You're welcome Caravan - sending you a cyber hug. I'm betting there are a lot of people in our society who feel this way. It it difficult to make friends as an adult but not impossible. What is it you do for work? Do you ever get an opportunity to socialise or network with colleagues or others in the industry? Another good thing to do (if you haven't already) is to talk to your GP. They can refer you to a counsellor who in the very least can act as someone to talk through your worries with. I find this very helpful.

Life - welcome to the thread. Loneliness is a horrible feeling - I do hope we can provide a bit of understanding and support. Have you ever sought at counselling about this? Keep us updated on how you go.

Your welcome Caravan ☺

Good on you

Ya know as much as i get your sick of trying im wondering what do you think fair enogh hav a break for a bit but then persevere. Worth to keep at id imagine cause the alternatives not good aye

Thx for coming back & you have us here here's so its a start 😊

Take good care