Single Mother who smokes pot

[spyro123]

I come here as I do not know what to do wonder if anyone has any advice or anything.... My mother had a stroke few years ago, she can mobilise now though not the way she used to be able to as she can not walk further than say 100 metres without a wheelchair. Before few years before this accident my parents split, I have 3 siblings and I am the oldest, a lot of things bad happened she has been through A LOT I will not mention it all to keep this confidential but most of it is not her fault. Since the accident things have never been the same...she does not work, she suffered very very badly from depression and this was not her first time having very bad depression, this affected the whole household, breaking up her relationship and my siblings are very different then how they used to be, she now smokes pot everyday, playing video games all day long. I just feel bad for her and I try to help around the house and my siblings but I feel she has lost the motivation to help my siblings with anything and I feel frustrated that she is always smoking pot such as when I bring friends over etc...… does anyone know what I could do or can relate? just need someone to talk to as well, I used to suffer badly from depression to around the time of her accident though consider myself much better today but I still from time to time feel as though there is a lot deep within me that I need to talk about and affects me day to day in life.

[Doolhof]

Hi spyro123,

Do you think it might help to take your Mum to the Dr and have a chat together about her smoking pot all the time. The Dr might be able to offer some suggestions of maybe counselling or help in some way.

The changes in your Mum's life must have been very hard for her to accept, and for you all as well. Maybe your Mum might need some help to find alternatives to getting through each day.

If you feel you need to talk about some issues, would you be able to see a counsellor or a psychologist? Your Dr may be able to help you organise to see a person who bulk bills r a person who has lower fees using a Mental Health Care Plan if you are eligible.

If you call the Beyond Blue help line they may be able to suggest some ways you can assist your Mum. You can talk to them anonymously.

Hope you find some answers.

Cheers from Dools

[Beth_co]

Hello Spyro. Nice to meet you. I'm new as well but my reasons for being here are a bit different.

Being depressed is a terrible state to be in and always affects those around. It's like being trapped in your body with a deep sense of foreboding, so I do understand your mum reaching out for something to help take the edge off. She's had a rough time of it after all.

Don't get me wrong ok, I'm not condoning or poo-pooing it either. I'm just saying it's understandable.

I'm more concerned with how you're doing. Being the eldest child when things go wrong is something I know much about. It's hard. You feel like it's your responsibility to take over her role, but at the same time need to grow up too. Like being caught between a rock and a hard place yeah?

I'm presuming you're her carer? You didn't say how old you are, but I'm gathering you're in your teens. It's a special time in anyone's life, so having this situation baring down on you wouldn't be much fun. I'm sorry about this.

At Centrelink they have Social Workers who can help you and your siblings with information and maybe even help around the house. You don't have to tell them about your mum's pot smoking. They'll be more concerned about you guys getting the best support possible so you can all live a fairly normal life, considering.

Doolhof has suggested some good ideas. Going to your doctor and asking for a referral to a counselor or psychologist, or talking with a school counselor (if you're at school, Tafe or Uni) is also an option. It's confidential too.

Try this website for support and info:

www.carersnsw.org.au

I do hope you return and keep talking. It's really helpful to have a place to just let it all out. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Lovely meeting you 😊🖐

[Beth_co]

Hi again, sorry, the website I gave you is for nsw. That's where I'm from. If you're from another state, just Google 'Support for Carers' in your state and it should give you some good sites to help.

[geoff]

Hi Spyro, thanks for posting your comment and understand your concern and really sorry that your mum has had a stroke.

I am not condoning or agreeing to the fact that she is smoking pot, however, studies have shown that using pot after having a stroke can help with her recovery, but there is no official proof that it is a viable treatment for stroke recovery.

It may have been suggested to her by someone believing it may help her, but the problem is that it's used much more than is needed and becomes addicted to it and the possibility of this happening is high.

This is a divided problem that I would discuss with your doctor because you need medical advice as to whether it's used for medicational purposes or an excuse just to smoke it.

What I am worried about is that your depression now has been covered up due to the situation you are now in, but it's a disorder that may come and go depending on your circumstances.

Best wishes.

Geoff.