Sick baby, exhausted mum
My son turned 1 on Wednesday. Unfortunately, because he spent 2 hours at childcare last week, he is sick. Not really sick, but has a cough & stuffed nose that make it impossible for him to feed and sleep properly.
I should be grateful that he didnt end up in hospital. I know I am lucky. I have a partner who is supportive and who takes turns rocking the baby at night. I have extended family who would step in and babysit in an instant if I asked.
I should be happy that I managed to breastfeed my son for 12 months. But instead I am upset that it looks like our breastfeeding journey is over, all because of a cold.
I haven't had more than 2 hours sleep in a row since Friday night. That was 6 nights ago.
Does anyone else get super anxious when they are tired? I do. I cant think properly, cant make decisions. I want someone to come and take over and give me a break, but I am also terrified of giving up control in case I fall apart and cant be put back together again. So I just keep going. Because what else can I do.
So I keep rocking and singing lullabies. I call PANDA and the breast feeding association for support. I take my son to the Dr for the 4th time this week hoping they will give me something to help him sleep (they dont).
and I know that by next week he will be back to normal"
Sorry to hear your baby isn't well. It's really tough caring for a sick baby- constantly putting your own needs on hold & trying to stay patient running on no sleep. I have 4 children so my heart goes out to you. I always find it helps to repeat to myself - this too shall pass....
As for the breastfeeding this is exactly how my breastfeeding journey finished with my daughter. At 16 months she got sick with a virus that caused little ulcers in her mouth & throat. So she went from being the most keen breastfeeder to complete breast refusal... I was devastated. I wasn't ready for her to stop feeding. I never got to consciously have a last feed or slowly cut back on feeds. She even refused to drink water or any fluids. It was a grieving process for me... But eventually I stopped offering as she constantly pushed it away. I had to make the decision to embrace that it was her making the decision that she no longer needed to breastfeed & it was time to let go. I had to celebrate how awesome it was to get that far! And the love & bond between the 2 of you doesn't end it just changes. I hope your little one gets better ASAP & continues to feed but if not it's OK to feel sad & allow yourself to grieve the end of that journey but he still loves & needs you & the next chapter of this parenting thing begins!!
Sending you hugs xx
Thanks for your support. It really helps to know other people feel the same way when their kids are sick.
Luckily he is a lot better now. Still has a runny nose and a little cough, but he is sleeping and feeding again. Which means I am sleeping again. Which makes everything a lot easier to deal with.