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Sibling Estrangement

Community Member

My dearest friend has raised 3 sons on her own since her husbands death 15 years ago.

They have always been a very close family.

Last Christmas middle son had an major outburst (drug and alcohol affected) accusing infidelity of one brother and told his sister in law that nobody in the family liked her...

He has since turned his life around and is drug and alcohol free almost 6 months.

His brothers will not have anything to do with him and my friend is heartbroken and at a loose as to how to 'fix' this situation.

They have a major family event in the next month and middle son is not invited.

Do you have any suggestions/advice that I could give her?

Thank you for your time

2 Replies 2

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi KAS123,

Its so wonderful that your friend has someone who cares about them as much as you do to ask for suggestions on their behalf on these forums. Family situations like these can be tricky and sometimes just having someone to talk to about whats going on makes a huge difference. My initial response if I were in your position would be to let your friend know that you're there for them if they want to talk more about this and that even though they might want to make things better for their family members its not all on them to fix anything. Simply being present for their family members may be all they can do right now, and that that is okay. It sounds like your friend has been through a lot and shown so much resilience in the face of it all. Hopefully they've been able to also get some professional support e.g. some counselling or even group therapy? Thanks for posting!

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

In a word, Solidarity - one out, all out.

If your friend accepts the ostracisation of her son, then by attending she inadvertently sides with the perpetrators. Sometimes it takes someone to make a stand to end the nonsense. At least it may start the conversation.