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Should I be grieving for family I’ve never really know?

Gambit
Community Member

To preface, I’ve never been close to my dad’s side of our family. My father tried to keep in loose contact with a few uncles up until I was about 14/15 (I’m 20) and then communication just stopped. Outside of them and the rare visit from his father, I’ve never really met anyone on his side; at least not since I was a toddler. No cards, no calls, nada.

My father’s uncle is on his death bed, and my dad expressed that he’d like me to see him before he dies. Apparently I’ve met with him a few times (I was young, and so I don’t recall this) and every time he stayed in his shed and had no interested in meeting me or my brother.

I feel like it makes me a bad person, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to react in this sort of situation. This is a man who’s face and name I don’t even know. To put it insensitively, it doesn’t feel like I’m not losing anything; it’s almost like hearing about a stranger’s passing. I feel like I should be sad, after all, this is family I’m losing.

Does feeling this way make me a bad person? What am I supposed to do when I inevitably see him?

11 Replies 11

Gambit
Community Member

Thank you so much for your kind words, Jigsaw. I really appreciate the sentiment, it puts some of my worries to ease.

Thank you again for taking the time to reassure me, and all the best to you as well 🙂

Jigsaw9
Community Member

Anytime my friend

Just remember were here for you and keep us posted on your progress and we will go through this together.