Sexual Health and the Idea of Never Having a Partner

[Azzdog]

Hi everyone, I'm not sure how to put this but hopefully it will make sense.

I am a 24 year old male who currently is in therapy and sees a psychologist regularly. I have OCD, anxiety, depression, and autism, and when you put those all together, it becomes understandable why socialising is a major problem for me. One major cause of my current situation is the fact that I have never hd a girlfriend or had sex. Because we live in the digital age, it is almost impossible to avoid the fact that a lot of people are in relationships and that modern society is obsessed with the concept of sex. You would almost have to live on a deserted island in order to completely avoid all the triggers associated with it.

My cause of concern is that I have no one that I can relate to on this and that I feel like I struggle to articulate how bad it is for my mental health. My psychologist says that I am well in the normal distribution for young men but that doesn't really make me feel any better. Because I am shy, introverted, and have a lot of hobbies and interests that are not in line with contemporary society, I genuinely feel like I will never have a girlfriend, never have sex, and die alone. This fact alone has meant in the past 6 months, I have had 5 separate stints in a psychiatric ward due to concerns of my own safety. I was wondering if there are any other young men out there who feel the same way and are currently in the same boat, and if there are any young mens health groups around? I feel the latter would be important for me and reassure me that I am not the only one who feels this way.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Azzdog

Sounds like you're really struggling at the moment. It takes alot of courage to reach out so we're really glad you have.

We encourage you to share more of whats happening for you here but also want you know that there is always support available to you.

You can reach out to our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

We have tried to send you a private message to your inbox however the email address noted appears to not work. Please update your email and/or phone number on your profile. 

If you feel at any time that you are unable to keep yourself from acting on unsafe urges of suicide or self harm, then this is an emergency and it's important that you contact 000 (triple zero) straightaway

[HamSolo01]

Anyway my dude, I hope where you are at in life now is better than where you have been.

I hope my story is one you can relate to at some level in some sense. It was not coincidence that made me think of sharing it here after having not come by your thread for some time.

Peace out and here's to the future for both of us

[Azzdog]

im so lonely 

[Azzdog]

I don’t think I’ve ever felt as hopeless as I do now. Fighting to not go to the hospital has become a daily occurrence

[Azzdog]

I feel like going to hospital again now

[james1]

Hey Aaron,

Sorry to hear you feel really lonely and hopeless. It is okay to go to the hospital if you feel that is what will keep you safe.

How are you feeling now?

James

[Azzdog]

I still feel really hopeless. I’m fighting everyday to not go to the hospital because it does nothing for me. It’s just a circuit breaker but I don’t have any support and I have no one to talk to who understands me.

i feel like I’ve worked really hard on myself for the past 7 years and I’m still stuck being single. I feel like a part of me has genuinely died

[Sophie_M]

Dear Azzdog,
 
We are sorry to hear that you feel so hopeless right now and we are glad you are still reaching out on the forums. You should be proud of the person you are and the work and progress you have accomplished to get here over 7 years. Being single is difficult, but we urge you to keep focusing on your positives and the strength you have displayed getting to this point. Also please remember there is no shame in needing to go to hospital, if your journey leads you there it may be the assistance you need for now.
 
Azzdog if you need to talk, we are always here for you. If you feel you need to discuss anything, please contact Beyond Blue either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support
 
We would also like to suggest Lifeline on 13 11 14 or at https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/
 
Alternatively we would also recommend the suicide call back service, they offer a range of contact methods that can be accessed via https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/phone-and-online-counselling/ or by giving them a call on 1300 659 467.
 
If at any point those thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, or you no longer feel safe we urge you to contact emergency services on 000.
 
Warm regards
Sophie M

[HamSolo01]

hey mate whats news?

I came across this quote just now - "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone." ---Robin Williams

Rather timely hey?

Apologies, I didn't realise my most recent comment wasn't complete. Not so sure what happened. I can empathise with you on 2 points - the still being single part and the wanting to avoid going to hospital part - it can be quite difficult to manage both of these at the same time.

hospital can be a circuit breaker I know what you mean. So can ringing a helpline or making an appointment with my psych.

Lately I realised the circuit breaker I needed was to quit my job. Embrace the discomfort I guess.

I've spent a lot of that time reflecting on who I am and what I want in life. I still don't have the exact answer but I know I'm getting there step by step and day by day.

Dude, I hope you are okay and looking forward to hearing back from you

[james1]

You really have worked hard for the last 7 years and it sucks that one of your goals, to find a partner, still hasn't been met. I understand it can feel like, in some way, that's the most important thing or the thing that matters most. But I hope you can also take something in knowing that you have worked hard and accomplished a lot of other stuff as well.

I know you were diagnosed earlier this year with autism - were you able to get much help or understanding through the doctors you saw at the time? It sounds like you've not really had the support you've been looking for. Are you still looking for a good psychologist or are you taking a break from that for a while? Sorry, it's been a while since we spoke so I'm not sure what has been happening, but I'm sad to hear you feel like you have no one to talk to. That really sucks.