Hi 2under2, welcome to the BB forums
I am going to start with a harsh statement. Sometimes, people need to feel pain before they are willing to change.
Now, we could interpret that statement as you are now ready for change, as you have been feeling the pain associated with ever being in demand for your children's attention. And, that would be a solid interpretation.
We can also interpret that statement to mean that before you children become willing to change, that they need to feel a little pain. I am definitely not recommending any type physical pain, rather a little bit of emotional discomfort. Let them cry and scream whilst you are away from them, until they calm down, and then come back give them a little hug or kiss. Sometimes we need to go back to them whilst they are screaming, and that's okay. The key is to increase the separation time each time you are apart from them. This helps them to learn, that even though you may be out of physical contact (and/or out of visual sight) that you will soon be back and continue to love them.
The kids need to learn that crying and screaming does not bring you back sooner, rather it brings you back later. When my elder daughter was 3 or 4 she decided to have a screaming fit in the shopping centre. I decided that I wasn't going to stand for it, so I started screaming too (in the same context and style she was). She immediately stopped, and looked at me as though I was crazy (as was everyone else in the centre), but she learnt that screaming achieves nothing.
Well, that worked for me. I have four children.
SB
