Scared to end my 22yr marriage

[Guest_1973]

Hi all,

I have been married for 22years have 2 teenagers, and for many years
I have longed to be single..even though I love my husband, i am.not in love with him.
For many years of our marriage he drank a lot, which made me resent
him. This caused massive issues together with his lack
Of parenting. But I hung in there, and slowly he cut back
On his drinking and stopped seeing a lot of his mates,
Which used to.come over as well.
Even though he has changed his life, I still have thoughts
Of being on my own. I am with him for his happiness
As I'm.petrified how he'll cope if I tell him I want to separate.
Last 2 years our arguments have been massive to arguing
About kids, and disagreeing about everything. This affected my kids hearing
Us argue so much, and i feel so bad about this.
Last time we argued was a month ago. Even tho things
Are ok now deep down i want out.
I have tried to be happy
For everyone's sake, and also.im a religious person
too which has stopped me goin down that path.
The thought of separating is overwhelming, and too stressful. I am now used to the fact I will be with my hubby forever
But don't love him..
Any advice will be great guys.
Thank you.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Cynthiaa, it's great to see you back on the forums to gain support. We're sorry to hear about your situation. We can imagine being in an unhappy marriage would feel very isolating and suffocating. We know how scary and difficult the thought of leaving our partner can be. We hope our community can offer you some support and advice on how you can best handle this situation. 

We would recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348.
We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it. 
 

[blondguy]

Hello Cynthiaa

You are strong by reaching out as well as you have....You are stronger than you think...Can I ask if your children have been experiencing the tension between yourself and your husband? This can be a huge factor as our kids suffer more pain than we do as a parent

Please forgive me for asking another question if thats okay....Have you considered/or had joint counselling?

You and your teenagers well being is paramount here....all other considerations are secondary at this time..(as per your post)....with all respect to your husband Cynthiaa

The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post

any questions are always welcome! There are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you

my kind thoughts

Paul