Running a business after a break-up, the loneliest place to be.

[David_A]

Hey All,

I guess I'll start with what should be a positive thing in life, I run and own a successful company based in Melbourne. The whole time I've been with a partner and never really noticed how much my world would collapse without her in my life.

After parting ways a while ago it's been a really lonely ride, I left behind a lot in life to start the company, and never thought I'd miss social interaction with peers as much as I do now. Having no-one to talk too on a daily basis with heartache and pressure combined is a real struggle.

I manage to pump myself up enough to get by in meetings, but fall flat soon after.

To get to where I am now, I gave up a relatively good day job a professional sporting career and with someone by my side everything seemed to be okay.

Suddenly it's all come crashing down and everyday is an absolute struggle, I sleep around 4 hours a night, cannot get to sleep before 3am and really find it hard to get through every day.

I ended the relationship and completely understand she wasn't right for me in the end but I can't shake this funk I'm in.

Between the pressure of supporting myself and staff and realising I'm completely alone is absolutely the most painful thing I've ever been through. Eating is a struggle, sleeping is difficult and I'm finding it increasingly hard to get through daily life.

I don't want a substitute for a partner, but someone to talk too who's struggling, who understands or just someone in life who can be a good support through this time.

During my busy period the last 2 years I've lost touch with old friends, I don't have family support and I'm not sure what else to say. Just writing this is a much needed distraction and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this, reply and thank you in advance.

[Clear82]

Hi David

I’m in a similar situation to you but I’m on the other side. My ex had chosen to cut me out of his life and works a lot. I’m sad and anxious now that I am single again.

I went through the whole no sleeping too and I can assure you it gets better. I have my shower just before bed and then read for 10 mins before I turn lights off.

To help me get through some thoughts I set a time in the day and that’s when I think about stuff and when the thoughts pop in my head during the day or night I say to myself no not now at 530.

You are never alone either, people on here and you will always have someone to talk too.

[David_A]

Thanks for the reply and strategies to attempt, I'll see if any of those work for me as they have for you.

Sorry to hear about your situation also, it's one of the worst feelings in the world, even if you're the one letting go.

Thanks for reaching out 🙂

[quirkywords]

David ,

Welcome to the forum. As clear wrote this is a supportive place and you are not alone.

When a relationship ends there is grief for what you have lost and what you thought your future to be there.

So going through this time is part of the process.

Would it be possible to reconnect with old friends. Some may have moved on, but some friends may be able to support you when you are honest about what you have been through.

You sound like a very driven and determined person .

Clear has given you suggestions that helped.

Years ago when I broke up with my long term partner, I found the routine of my work to help.

I was the one who left the relationship so no one offered me support as everyone felt I was coping.

That was a very lonely time and I wished I had been more honest.

Thanks for sharing your story and I feel people reading your post will relate to you.

Quirky

[David_A]

Thanks Quirky for taking the time to write back, every little bit helps.

I think based on both your advice and Clears, I might reach out to a couple of people I used to be in contact with and good friends with a couple of years back and slowly force some routine things into my life that pattern a positive structure for the foreseeable weeks ahead.

I am Driven, but that drive at the moment is 100% used up on pure survival at this stage for both myself and Company, without the company I don't have an income, nor do my staff, I would never let my mistakes impact others lives so i'm battling for that at the moment.

I've booked in to see my GP tomorrow to get a referral to talk to someone once a week, that's the goal really, to sort out how I can set up a safety net in my life so that this never occurs again, I've had bad breakups in the past, but as we all know they hurt more the moment you realize your life isn't as supportive as it should be.

These are mistakes i've made, will own completely and attempt to create a safety net of sorts so next time, if this happens it's not like this.

Again, thank you both.. I can't express how kind it is for both of you to take time out of your day to help a stranger. Thank you.