For some, 3 months in a relationship, when it dissolves can contain as much grief as 10 years with that person. Love has no bounds, grief is different for every person- the grief cant be in comparison due to length of time together alone. The devastation can be huge and that "moment you walk away or are left alone" has your future disappear in front of you, you certainly dont think you'll recover.
To paint a rosy picture of recovery and a new life as being easy would be misleading. It takes time and/or planning. Allowing time to heal is ok - to allow that to sooth your feeling of abandonment or loss might see you dwelling for a long time before you might find another love interest or the memories fade. Planning is logical but in a highly emotional state logic goes on holiday. One simple step can be an insurance policy for your emotions- visiting your GP for a simple chat. That way they can monitor your grief level to keep you safe. If you feel out of control some time later you can return and your downhill spiral can be stopped with assistance.
I say all of this through lived experience from the post separation of 3 long term relationships. None were easy and no, I didnt go to my GP. Had I done so post separation or in one case I made a suicide attempt one week prior to separation I would have saved a million tears and a possibility of my young kids not having a father. I would never have known my grandchild due next year!
We have insurance for all our goods, even our lives. In case of theft or accidents we pay so as to make certain we dont lose out. Having medical people there ready to chat is your insurance because although you think you can manage emotions, at the most challenging time of your life that of grief immediately post separation, you need that insurance. Being a stubborn male I didnt realise the value of therapy for a long time but to sit for one hour a month for several months was utterly amazing for my recuperation.
Yes, you wont be thinking of any future the "moment you walk away" but there is a future you can carve out and most likely a better one. An old man once told me "out of 100 women you could probably fall in love with 10 and 3 would be ideal- a soul mate forever." It means that the person you feel you'll never recover from isnt the only person you could fall in love with to make a great future with. It means they werent in the top three... You deserve one in the top three...
TonyWK
