Hi everyone,
I've been following the forum for quite some time, and it has helped me through my first break up. So this is my first post to the forum, and I hope by sharing my story, it may help those who may find it relatable.
Last year when a friend of mine introduced me to a kind hearted, gentle, and loving person. We both hit it off and we found ourselves in love with each other, and it was our first time in a relationship. We were together for more than a year, and it had been a positive experience even thru out the COVID-19 lockdowns.
But in late March this year, out of the blue, she decided that it's best if we both went separate ways. She explained that she's going through depression and anxiety, and cannot give me the love/time/care that I deserve.
Even though I expressed that I was willing to support her through her tough times, she felt that she does not deserve my love/care/time. In the end, we agreed to go separate ways and remain as friends.
But even though we had agreed to stay as friends, I tried reflecting back on the relationship, thinking what went wrong, how did it come to this, and was in disbelief that this had happened.
I tried to fix our relationship, explaining what I thought might be my flaws that had caused her to feel this way to want a break up.
I even thought, by trying to be a good supportive friend thru her depression, she might feel better and come back to me.
But as I keep doing this, I felt it was very detrimental to both our mental state, and could feel her depression and anxiety episode getting worse.
One day, I decided to ask how she was going, and she said she wasn't feeling well, and will be staying away from messaging for awhile.
I gave her my last few messages of love and care, and decided to give her some space until she's ready to chat again.
I told myself that I've done all I can, but I need to take care of myself too. So from now till whenever she's ready to chat again, or Oct 2nd (as we initially agreed to go watch a play together as friends), I've decided to take the time to improve myself, while remembering the fond memories that we had together as a couple.
I still think about her, and wish she won't have to feel like this forever. But I'm also ready to face the possibility of us never reconnecting with each other again (even as friends).
(I'll make another post on what I've learned from this break up)
