I'm currently in a relationship where all is going well, he treats me well and we haven't had any problems but I recently moved to a different state and have to stay here for two months due to family. My anxiety has skyrocketed, I always have doubts and feel like he will get bored of me not being around and break up with me, I haven't had someone care for me as much as he does so every time I think this I feel like throwing up and always end up crying. He constantly reassures me and tells me that's not the case but I still have doubts and feel bad for having them. I don't know why I think like this as I do trust him but there's always just a 'what if' for me. Every time he goes out with his friends I try my best not to stress but it never works out, even if he gives me updates every now and then on what he's doing I still overthink and I feel bad for this as all he's doing is going out with his friends and I get all worked up over it.
I just feel bad for thinking like this all the time when I do trust him and I just don't know how to control it, I don't know how to bring this up with him because I feel bad as he doesn't purposely make me feel anxious and always reassures me but I just can't control it and it can ruin my whole day. I really don't want to self-sabotage this relationship with my own overthinking but I just don't know how to help myself.
Thanks for sharing with us.
It's great to hear that you've confronted your partner about how you feel and have taken steps to reflect on what might be the cause of your overthinking and anxieties. That's a great strength. Moving into a long distance situation is a very significant change in your life and relationship, especially so if you feel there was a bit of codependency, or even just spent a lot of time together.
I can sense from what you've written that you have genuine anxiety that has been affecting your day to day. Unfortunately, no amount of reassurance from your partner will make it go away as you've discovered, and that's okay. As frustrating as it is, anxiety can still exist even if you have evidence to prove your worries wrong - it's a very real and genuine physiological response that can feel as though it's out of our control. You're valid for what you're feeling and thinking even if you know there isn't concrete truth in it.
I've found mindfulness and meditation very helpful in times where my anxiety is through the roof and causing me to feel overwhelmed. There are plenty of apps to try - calm, headspace or smiling mind. Simple reminders to eat well, drink more water, go for a walk - little activities to take care of yourself can go a long way. Self care is very important.
How would you feel about contacting a GP to discuss the anxiety you've been feeling?
Don't be too hard on yourself. Perhaps from this big although temporary life change, you've become a lot more vulnerable to stress and anxiety. Anxiety can become debilitating, and you're never expected to know how to manage it on your own. It's a learned skill, and there are many resources out there both professional and self care related that are more than worth looking into.
I hope you're taking care, I'd love to hear from you.