Relationship after abusive relationship

[maisydaisy108]

Hey guys. 
I’m 22, I was in an abusive relationship for three years with a much older man that affected every part of my life and me. Before that I was living with my mum who was emotionally abusive. 
Two years later I’m in a really beautiful relationship and he treats me well. I still always have a feeling of something is happening or going to happen. I know this is just because I haven’t been in a situation where nothing has happened or gone wrong but it’s so hard and even little things I over think and think that it’s going to lead to something big so I start to shut down and feel all the same emotions.  I really need some support or anyone who has felt the same to please give me some advice or relate to me. 

[white knight]

Hi welcome

At a younger age in 1987 I had therapy and he identified that I carried and produced unrealistic thoughts. These ideas were detrimental to my well being.  For example I'd previously had a 7 year relationship and she had issues, she'd leave a note every week or more and leave me, return to her mothers then come back. So by the time I was married with someone else those fears remained. So he asked me ":is that realistic"? I replied "no", "then you have to ask your self each time if it is real or a dreamt up idea/fear, then move on from it. And you move on by distracting yourself from those thoughts"

So whenever I had those thought come up I'd walk to the letterbox and back, water the garden, attend my hobby in my shed. It works.

Finally, be open about it to your partner but make sure it isnt used against you in a future heated discussion. If that occurs remind him you told him in good faith. Treat this sort of thing, the fears as a mild PTSD issue because thats what it is, mental scars that are ingrained that wont go away... but they will fade in a few more years.

TonyWK